


Are You Mine?

by Breeshark



Series: Are You Mine? [1]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Human, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Burning, Cunnilingus, Dark, Eventual Smut, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Heavy Angst, Loss of Virginity, Oral Sex, Past Abuse, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, SMUT in chapter 18, Sad, Self-Harm, Slight torture, Slow Burn, Smut in chapter 17, Vaginal Fingering, smut in chapter 19
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-22
Updated: 2018-02-20
Packaged: 2018-12-05 14:47:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 30
Words: 39,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11580255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Breeshark/pseuds/Breeshark
Summary: Peridot an Engineering major at Beach City College has a nice relaxing life. No dorm room mates and no problems except the occasional Overwatch match. Then Lapis Lazuli moves in and life takes an interesting turn.Dement09 did a piece for this story you can find a link below.http://dement09.tumblr.com/post/164299288718/finished-commission-for-breeshark-of-a-scene-fromTreker402 did a commission from chapter 17 NSFW Link belowhttp://treker402.tumblr.com/image/165841169830CoriKittyCat did a commission from the story link belowhttps://corikittycat.tumblr.com/image/165708525646My dear friend FrogTellez did some fan arthttps://frogtellez.tumblr.com/image/169097141805





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is the very first fan fiction I have ever written I mostly write original fiction, but fell down the Lapidot rabbit hole. Hopefully the characters don't read as too OOC. I welcome any advise and comments. This will be a slow burn fic with Jaspis before Lapidot. 
> 
> Thanks for taking the time to read :)
> 
> -Bree

It was the final 60 seconds of the match they were making their final push of the payload on the Hollywood map. She clicked on her nearest teammate Roadhog and flew to his aid using her healing stream. Reinhart held the front of the push keeping his shield up to protect everyone from behind. It was all going as planed in just a few seconds she’d have yet another victory under her belt bringing her ratio up higher. 

“Mizu no yo ni nagare.” The screen shouted at her.  
There was no time to react her teammates fell one by one around her she was one click away from a mass resurrection, play of the game worthy. Before she could click that beautiful Q, Genji obliterated her with his dragon blade. 

Defeat flashed across her screen and she pushed herself away from the computer forgetting about her headphones, her ears were yanked and glasses clattered to the floor. “What the fuck!” Peridot shouted. She scrambled to grab her glasses from the floor before she accidently stepped on them, it’s happened before. Checking the lower right hand corner of the screen lighting up the room she saw it was 4am. 

She turned the monitor off and yawned. “Damn Genji, and why was no one watching our flank?” She crawled into her bed pulling up neon green alien sheets to cover her face. Her first class started at noon so she’d get a few hours of sleep before she had to catch the bus to the main campus. She fell asleep to the realization that Mercy always got screwed over.  
***********  
“Peridot! Open this door!” 

Peridot rolled over to look at her alarm clock 9am flashed angrily back in red. “It’s too early!” 

More knocking on her door, “I’ve recived another noise compliant! We need to talk.” 

If she had any question of who could possibly be assaulting her door this early it was answered. Her Resident Assistant, Pearl was always up when the sun rose. More importantly she was in charge of this half of the dorm hallway. 

“Give me a minute!” Peridot shouted she wiped sleep out of her eyes and pulled up on her alien boxers that slid down during her restless sleep. She trailed the six feet it took to reach her door she yanked it open to be greeted by Pearl. 

Pearl steepled her fingers and then took in a deep breath before letting it out slowly. Some sort of meditation exercise, Peridot guessed. “This is the third compliant I’ve gotten about you waking someone up from screaming profanities.” Pearl took a glance behind Peridot and her lips turned up in disgust. “This is getting to be as bad as Amethyst’s room!” Pearl’s meditating must not have prepared her for this. “There is a garbage shoot right down the hall, there is no excuse for this kind of mess.” 

“I’m getting to it.” Peridot replied. So what if the empty cans of monster had overflowed out of her wastebasket and some Doritos bags littered the floor. It was her room to worry about. But Pearl took her positon as an RA too seriously, she acted more like a mom to the floor than their peer. 

“The yelling needs to stop one more compliant just one more and I will be forced to write you up for it. As you know three write ups result in dismissal from the dorms.” Pearl pointed a finger at Peridot. “I mean it this time, and clean this mess up!” Pearl turned on the points of her toes and flitted down the hallway presumably to check in on Amethyst to see if she finally cleaned up her dorm. 

Peridot closed the door to her room and rolled her eyes. “This isn’t even close to what Amethyst’s room looks like.”  
Well she was up now and she might as well shower and head to the main campus, swing by Starbucks to get ten shots of espresso and then get to her physics class.


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Introducing Amethyst and Jasper :)

After a refreshing shower and dressing in her classic black and green hoodie and shorts she exited her dorm to find Amethyst and Pearl carrying large black trash bags. “Yo! P-Dot!” Amethyst waved her garbage bag. “Pearl helped me clean up a little. You’ll never guess the source of the stink!” 

Peridot raised an eyebrow at that. Knowing Amethyst it was probably some form of old food. Amethyst began to laugh, “It was a burrito from Taco Bell!” 

“We don’t even have a Taco Bell on campus or anywhere nearby…” Peridot replied shocked at this revelation. 

“I know, dude I think I might have moved in with it!” Amethyst chuckled. “Yes as disgusting as all that is, Peridot I have some news for you.” Pearl interjected. “The connecting dorm room to yours is getting a new occupant today so make sure the bathroom you share is clean.” 

Peridot recalled the discarded sports bras and boxer shorts laying in a hamper in the corner of the bathroom and her hair products decorating the sink and taking up all available real estate. “It’s clean…” She lied. 

“She’s supposed to move in at noon today. If you don’t have class after come by and meet her.” Pearl began about to say more before Amethyst interrupted. “Pearl this junk is heavy, let’s move it.” 

Pearl’s cheeks flushed with color, “Of course. Oh and Peridot one more thing, her name is Lapis Lazuli.” With Amethyst pushing on Pearl’s back the two of them marched down the hallway with their garbage. 

Peridot couldn’t hide her frown. A roommate, why now? She had it so good before her own private bathroom, it was always quite on her shared wall. It was perfect the best setup a college student could ask for. Who enrolls in the Spring anyways? Now she’d have to share her small bathroom and what if this Lapis girl was loud? It was just bad news all around. 

Peridot headed down the stairway and ran into Jasper. A Amazonian of a woman that would put Wonder Woman to shame. Jasper rippled with muscle and showed it off with her tank tops cut low and her gym shorts that hugged her thick muscular thighs. “Hey twerp.” Jasper rumpled in greeting. 

“Brute,” Peridot shot back. This was their normal exchange. Jasper was a bully to most and to her friends a nuisance, Peridot fell into the latter category. “Already done with your jog?” 

Jasper shrugged, “Got a text from Pearl, said she needed help with moving things. I guess it will be a good enough replacement for interrupting my run.” Jasper put a large hand on Peridot’s head and ruffled her hair. “See ya later lollipop guild.” 

Pearl must have called that meathead in to help the new girl move in. Peridot wanted to make sure she was far away when her new roommate came. She wasn’t one for making friends and wouldn’t have the ones she had now if it wasn’t for Amethyst and they only became friends from a shared love of Overwatch. She doubted she’d have anything in common with Lapis Lazuli. 

Peridot hurried down the stairs so she wouldn’t miss the shuttle to the main campus. She prided herself in being early to class, as well as top in the class. Her grades were perfection keep a spot on 4.5 GPA. Getting a scholarship to Beach City College wasn’t easy but she worked at it since she was in high school. Soon she’d graduate become the best engineer and finally get out of her mother’s shadow.


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lapis Lazuli is here and she's got jokes?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thank you for taking the time to read, it means a lot to me. 
> 
> Comment if you have any advise or just want to talk. 
> 
> Thank you
> 
> -Bree

Peridot looked down at her cellphone it was 9pm, the perfect time to head back to her dorm building. That Lapis girl would already be moved in and Pearl went to bed so early she’d be long asleep. Peridot would be able to sneak in and out without a single awkward introduction. Her plan would go off without a hitch. She packed up her laptop closing out of World of Warcraft. She’d help the horde another day. She waved goodbye to the baristas at the Starbucks who had been supplying her with espresso after espresso. She didn’t drink she didn’t do drugs so twenty shots of espresso that wasn’t a big deal, right? 

After waiting twenty minutes for the shuttle back to the dorms she made it to her floor at about 9:40pm even better. She strolled down the hallway until reaching her door with its yellow caution tape on the outside, Amethyst’s idea. Her lilac haired friend had a matching door decoration her tape said biohazard, which before today was more or less true. Peridot fiddled with the keys before slipping inside. Mission accomplished! She set her bag down and grabbed her green towel heading into the bathroom to wash her hair out. Hair gel and bedhead didn’t go well together. To her immediate surprise someone was already in the bathroom with a blue towel wrapped around her wet naked form. 

“Oh my god!” The girl screamed. 

Peridot went to back up but she tripped over a discarded pair of jeans she tumbled to the ground her glasses falling off her face and clattering to the tile floor. Peridot couldn’t see a thing but the girl’s painted blue toes in front of her face she looked up the girl put her foot on Peridot’s head forcing it back down.   
“Don’t look up! I’m naked…I…Who are you?” The girl scrambled through her words her foot digging into Peridot’s head didn’t sit well with the blonde. Peridot pushed herself up and closed her eyes. “My eyes are closed, besides I can’t see a thing without my glasses.” A wet hand touched her own and she felt her glasses being passed to her. “Are you my roommate?” The girl asked, “The RA said you were a little odd but I didn’t think you were a pervert…” 

Peridot took her glasses and huffed out a response, “I am not a pervert! This was my bathroom until just a few hours ago.” Peridot put her glasses back on but kept her eyes firmly shut.

“Don’t you knock?” The girl asked. 

“Don’t you lock doors?” Peridot shot back. 

The girl didn’t have a response for that because she was silent the only sound was shuffling of what sounded like clothes. “You can open your eyes now, pervert.” Oh so now she makes jokes, Peridot thought. Peridot opened her eyes to take in the woman in front of her. She wore a long ratty T-shirt with some holes on the stomach area showing off her tanned skin, below that, long legs with tiny short shorts that would almost count as underwear. The woman offered her hand out to Peridot, “Lapis Lazuli.” 

Peridot took the hand and Lapis pulled her up off the floor. The next thing Peridot noticed was the dark blue color of Lapis’ hair and then deep blue eyes. “Of course, I am Peridot.” 

“No last name?” Lapis asked it was an innocent enough question but Peridot saw it as an attack. Peridot yanked her hand back. “No. Just Peridot, my surname is none of your business.” 

Lapis rolled her eyes, “You’ve seen me naked. Didn’t even take me on a date first and I don’t get to know your last name?” 

“Is sarcasm all you know?” Peridot eyed the blue hair woman. “I suppose since we will be sharing this bathroom I will tell you my surname. But this is between us I don’t tell many this lightly. I have a large responsibility and my surname caries that weight.” Peridot droned on. 

Lapis yawned, “Oh you’re looking at me. My turn to talk?” 

“Tch, I’m Peridot Diamond.” Peridot waited for the full weight of her last name to take effect on her foolish roommate. Oh how’d she cower in fear once she knew.   
“Is that supposed to be something I know? Is that like a Beach City name or something? I just moved here.” Lapis replied she ran a hand through her soaking wet hair and then shook it out getting Peridot wet. 

“Ugh, keep your water to yourself!” Peridot hissed. 

“Are you going to melt?” Lapis joked shaking more water out of her hair. 

Peridot closed the distance to the door leading back to her own room, “You may have won this battle but I will win the war!” The Peridot made a logical retreat. She waited and then heard the laughter on the other side of the door. It was light musical, infuriating! 

Lapis Lazuli would rue the day she messed with Peridot Diamond! Peridot decided. But first she needed to eat some Doritos and check in on her guild, maybe have a monster…


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lapis and Peridot have some roommate troubles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for taking the time to read and as always if you have any questions or comments go ahead and ask. It helps me develop my writing. :) 
> 
> I changed Camp Pining Hearts to an Anime because Peridot is a total nerd and as a nerd myself I love anime. 
> 
> \- Bree

Peridot looked at the now offending bathroom door. It was noon her normal morning time on a Saturday. After a night of playing World of Warcraft to forget about the whole bathroom situation, she had fallen asleep for an hour or two and now she really had to go to the bathroom. After three cans of monster energy and two mountain dews she was practically dancing in front of the bathroom door. Hopping from one foot to another she glared at the silver colored doorknob. Could Lazuli be on the other side of the door? Doing who knows what? “Shit…” Peridot mumbled now she was back to thinking about Lazuli in the shower. Water droplets running down that tan skin. “Nope, not today.” She took Lazuli’s advice and knocked on the door. 

“You can come in. I’m not naked this time. What a shame, right?” Lazuli taunted from the other side. 

Peridot barged in almost smacking into Lazuli who was leaning over the sink with…is that makeup? Lazuli groaned, “Damn…” She turned around with a black line down her face now. “I didn’t think you’d run in here, couldn’t get enough of me?” 

Peridot’s face was probably bright red by now but more importantly her bladder was ready to burst. “I need to use this!” Peridot pointed to the toilet. 

Lazuli raised a fine dark eyebrow, “I’ve got to do my eye liner over now. Can’t you wait?” 

“No” Peridot hissed she clutched her abdomen. “I will die.” 

Lazuli huffed out a sigh, “I’ll turn the other way so just go. I have somewhere I need to be.” Peridot couldn’t believe the audacity of the blue haired woman, she didn’t pee in front of others like a savage. “If you do not leave this bathroom now, I will pee on this floor.” Peridot threatened. Lazuli laughed at that but raised her hands in surrender, “Fine, fine.” Then she turned to go to the wrong door. “Hey! That’s my room!” Peridot tried to argue but she couldn’t hold it any longer and now the bathroom was finally hers. 

After relieving herself and washing her hands which was more than a challenge with all of Lazuli’s junk around the sink. She had pushed all of Peridot’s things to a corner. That woman had some nerve, Peridot thought. Peridot went back to her room to see Lapis Lazuli investigating her things.

“This is so nerdy!” Lazuli exclaimed. “I love it.” 

That was unexpected. “You watch Camp Pining Hearts?” Lazuli picked up her statue of Percy. “I haven’t caught up to it yet. I was trying to wait for the English Dub.”   
What a pleb, to wait for the dub. A true Anime fan watches the subs. “Yes, well. Lazuli, this is my room.” Peridot waited but Lazuli kept wandering around the room putting her fingers on everything. “Hey! Stop touching my things with your…touch stumps!” 

Lazuli giggled at that comment, “Alright fine. Oh did you get the E-mail from Pearl? We have to meet her in like ten minutes to go over our roommate contract.” 

“No…” Peridot looked down at her green boxer shorts and gray tank top. “I need to change, and shower.” 

“Go right ahead, but I need the mirror.” Lazuli raised an eyebrow. “Maybe now we will be even.” 

Lazuli went into the bathroom with a sway to her hips. “Temptress…” Peridot muttered. She grabbed some clothes from the clean pile on her spare computer chair and went to Amethyst’s room. 

“Dude, you look pissed.” Amethyst said when she opened the door. 

“Just let me use your shower…” Peridot sighed. 

“Roommate troubles?” Amethyst asked, “That sucks. Jasper is pretty chill but she wakes up so early.” 

For once Peridot envied Amethyst for her roommate. What sort of world was this when she rather have Jasper Quartz as her roommate? 

“Jasper’s out on a run, shower is all yours.” Amethyst went back to what she did best eat junk and watch shows. 

Peridot went to her friends shower which was clean that must be thanks to Jasper. That meathead ran a tight ship. She’d shower and then she’d beg Pearl for help, she couldn’t handle the blue haired menace.


	5. Chapter five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot and Lapis meet with Pearl but it's cut short.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a little angst this time. 
> 
> I think we've all been there where the girl you're into is more into your friend. Ughhh. 
> 
> As always thank you for reading and comment if you have any questions. 
> 
> -Bree

Lapis Lazuli and Pearl sat at the small table in Pearl’s room waiting for Peridot who just got there her hair still wet and out of place. “Peridot, we were waiting for you. Would you like some tea?” Pearl offered a teapot resting on the table with three cups. 

Peridot sat down across from Lazuli, “No. I just want to get this over with.” 

Lazuli took a sip from her cup of tea, “I was just telling Pearl about how we’ve been getting along.” 

“I’m so glad to hear you are adjusting well, Peridot. I was more than worried you wouldn’t be able to handle a roommate. Oh, I’m so proud of you.” Pearl went on. “I’ll have to tell Garnet she’ll tell me I told you so and I shouldn’t have worried but how could you not?” 

Peridot shot a glare at Lazuli. Why lie? They weren’t getting along. Lapis invaded her space, her privacy, and more importantly almost made her pee on the floor. Unacceptable, she’s a Diamond the daughter of the most powerful woman in the State let alone the city. An industry mogul who was shrewd, Peridot could embody that. Be shrewd like your mother, she thought. 

“I…I don’t think…” She started to stumble through her words but never got to finish before Pearl’s door was burst into. Jasper stood in the doorway. “Uh, sorry to interrupt but Amethyst has food poisoning. She’s asking for you.” 

Pearl hopped up, “Again! What did she eat now?” Pearl fled the room without a second thought to her two guests. Jasper eyed Lapis Lazuli and then Peridot. 

“Oh it’s you!” Lapis said with a coy smile. “I wanted to thank you for helping me move in. I don’t have any family in the area to help. It meant a lot to me.” 

Jasper’s bronze skin flushed with color slightly and she toyed with the bottom of her muscle shirt. “Yeah, no problem.” 

“Let me treat you to dinner sometime,” Lapis offered. 

Gross, is this flirting? Peridot thought. Maybe through all of this she could sneak out and play a match or two of Overwatch. If Lapis liked a big giant meathead that was her prerogative, it’s not like Peridot cared anyways. Lazuli was clearly a flirt, it meant nothing. Yet Jasper swooned so easily flattered by simple attentions. Peridot couldn’t afford to be like that to swoon, no she was a tactician, she was cold. Peridot stood up clearly interrupting what was happening between Jasper and Lapis. 

“Where are you going?” Lapis asked. 

“I’m going back to my room. This is pointless.” Peridot didn’t say another word as she pushed past Jasper. She used to be so much colder before she met Amethyst and gathered a small collection of friends. She needed to bring back that callousness the things her mother taught her. She returned to her room and locked the door. Why was she even upset about this? Lapis might just leave her alone if Jasper is around. Maybe a small voice echoes in the back of her mind just maybe you liked the attention. “Absolutely not,” She decided. “I am not jealous, I just met Lazuli. I don’t have any feelings.” Feelings get you nowhere, those are her mother’s words but they applied now. 

She went to her closet and grabbed a package of ramen noodles the kind you added hot water too. She picked up a ceramic cup her ramen heating cup and set to work. She had just finished pouring her water into the noodles when a shy knock interrupted her. It was of course coming from the bathroom, the meeting ground for her and Lazuli. She groaned and struggled with herself but opened the door to let Lazuli in. 

Lapis walked in and sat down on the computer chair in front of Peridot’s desk. “Are you mad at me?” Direct, Peridot could respect that if it wasn’t aimed at her.

“No. Why would I be? You only invade my space and my life.” Peridot hit back a low blow. 

Lapis’ legs swung as she thought back a reply. “I am only trying to make a friend. Sorry I’m not very good at it.” The words felt forced like choked back pride. “I didn’t have a lot of friends where I’m from.” 

A sympathy play? Never feel sympathy, Peridot it is baseless weakness. Her mother told her that once. “I didn’t have a lot of friends either before coming here.” What, what was she doing. Revealing information about herself, stupid. 

Lapis offered a weak smile, “Two peas in a pod, huh?” She held her hand out, “Let’s start over. I am Lapis Lazuli and I want to be your friend.” 

Peridot looked at the hand acting as a truce it wasn’t in her nature to give in. She took the hand in her pale one. “Peridot…Peridot Diamond, I would also like to be your friend.” 

So it was settled. Lapis grinned, “Are you friends with Jasper?” 

Peridot nodded she went back to her cup of noodles and grabbed a fork to start on them she sat on the edge of her bed. “Why?” 

“She’s hot.” Lapis giggled like a high school girl. Peridot was home schooled by the best tutors money could buy, but she could indulge just this once. “I suppose her body is in peak physical form.” 

“Tell me everything you know.” Lapis tucked her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them placing her head on her knees. “Go on then.” 

So Peridot told her while eating noodles. Jasper Quartz, rude and brash, played soccer and track and field. A work out fiend who barely spent time doing anything else, Jasper is simple. Lapis listened and nodded occasionally fiddling with a piece of blue hair. Peridot finished her noodles and felt a different kind of emptiness. Not hunger, it was something new. She waved Lapis away and wished her luck on her dinner date. I wish she wanted to know about me that small annoying voice uttered in the back of Peridot’s mind. “Shut up.” She replied.


	6. Chapter Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot overhears something she shouldn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for sticking with the story thus far. I hope you guys are enjoying it. 
> 
> As always if you have questions please leave a comment I love to write back. 
> 
> Thank you
> 
> -Bree

It had been a few weeks and of course Lapis and Jasper got together. Peridot wasn’t surprised when Lapis came in through their adjoining bathroom to share the news. She had thanked Peridot over and over. Peridot did the polite thing the friend thing. She nodded said congratulations. Lapis was quite now she didn’t come through the adjoining door as much and when she did it was to gush about what a romantic Jasper was. ‘Oh, Peridot! Jasper got me blue roses! Can you believe it blue?!’ Peridot explained to Lapis how the flowers became blue and Lapis listened because it was the friend thing to do. Jasper took Lapis to dinner on lunch dates and then one night it happened. 

Peridot was busy in the shared bathroom brushing her teeth after her night time shower. Lapis insisted she needed to take the first shower in the afternoon so Peridot played some matches and waited. Peridot stared back at her reflection, bright green eyes with freckles dusting her cheeks. Her hair was only ever flat when the water managed to tame it, which was from her mother. Peridot was about to retire to her room when she heard Lapis’ door open then close in a rush then giggles and a gruff chuckle. Was Jasper next door? Peridot did the sensible thing and pressed her ear to the bathroom door that led to Lapis’ room. 

“Lapis…” A moan from Jasper, “Can I touch you?” 

“No, I want to touch you.” Lapis responded. “Don’t touch me unless I tell you, do you understand?” 

Peridot’s face and neck were bright red and she pressed a hand to her mouth to keep quite. What was that?! What is she listening to? Peridot pressed her ear tighter to the door intent on not missing this exchange. 

“I understand,” Jasper practically mewled in delight. “Take what you want from me.” 

“I intend to.” That was Lapis again and Peridot heard shuffling and the groan of a mattress that was used to Jasper’s weight. Peridot should stop she should go back to her own room and re-watch Camp Pining Hearts or play a game something. But she stayed kneeling on the cold tile of the bathroom floor. 

“Take your clothes off, give me a show.” Lapis’ voice was husky and seductive. Something Peridot had never heard before it made parts of her burn and sizzle. 

More shuffling and Jasper must have been giving Lapis what she wanted because she heard the wet sounds of a kiss. At least Peridot thought it was a kiss. 

“My god, Jasper you are so wet.” Lapis sounded shocked and pleased. 

Peridot couldn’t listen a second longer she’d faint her virginal ears couldn’t handle the intimacy of the bedroom. Especially not this game Lapis was playing with Jasper. Peridot crawled on the bathroom floor silently and opened her own door with such precision so as not to make a single sound. Once back in her own room she breathed out a big sigh and went to her bed grabbed an alien pillow and screamed into it. After she got that out of her system she sat down on her bed and looked out the small window. So Lapis has sex and worse of all Jasper has sex that image she needed bleached from her brain. Peridot had never. She’d never even kissed someone before. The thought of doing something more made her feel like she’d faint. How’d Lapis get to be so…so grownup? Is that the right word? That seemed childish. Lapis was just doing what was natural when one is in a relationship. Although that didn’t seem natural not wanting to be touched? How does…she stopped herself from that line of thinking. 

She went to her computer and blasted Camp Pining Hearts season 1 through her headphones. Still she couldn’t get those words out of her head. What did Lapis look like when she said those words? Did she have that coy smirk or hooded lids and a pout? Nope! Peridot stop it she thought. After listening to Paulette drone on she started to forget and get lost in her hatred of the character.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot has a strange dream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for taking the time to read. 
> 
> A short cute one before I dig into the angst. 
> 
> As always please leave a comment if you have any questions. 
> 
> \- Bree

“You know Peri, you could always watch.” Lapis hovered over Jasper both were naked and with a slick sheen covering their bodies. Lapis turned to Peridot licking her lips. “I know you want me.” Peridot couldn’t avert her eyes from the divine expanse of tan skin going lower to the juncture between Lapis’ thighs. “I-I…” Peridot fumbled with her words. Lapis approached swaying her hips she put both arms on Peridot’s shoulders. “I’ll show you how, start with a kiss.” Peridot turned her face and Lapis turned hers their lips met it was warm, delightful, intoxicating. 

A phone was ringing the X-files theme song. Not now she was with Lapis. Lapis looked at her and shrugged, “It’s just a dream.” Peridot woke with a fright and fell out of her bed smacking the back of her head on her bedside table on the way down. Her phone kept ringing and she grabbed it.

“What!” She shouted into it. 

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Amethyst responded. 

“Sorry I just was having a um bad dream.” Peridot replied, “Can I call you back later.” 

“Sure dude, just don’t sleep all day. New episode of CPH tonight and I’ve got popcorn.” Amethyst bribed. “Also got some Doritos for you, talk to ya later.”   
Peridot set her phone back onto her bedside table after Amethyst hung up. The door leading to the bathroom burst open and Lapis came charging in. “Are you okay? I heard something break.” Peridot looked back at Lapis through bleary eyes she didn’t have her glasses on yet. Lapis crouched down next to her, “Oh a cup broke.” Lapis picked up a piece of the ceramic mug. 

Lapis reached for Peridot’s glasses next handing the round frames to the blonde. Peridot gratefully put them back on. “That’s my ramen cup!” Peridot went to move put Lapis put a hand on her shoulder keeping her in place. “Let me grab a broom and clean this, you don’t want to get cut.” Lapis went to the corner of the room where a broom and dustpan rested, a gift from Pearl. Lapis set to work making sure Peridot didn’t move. “So what happened?” Lapis finally asked. 

Peridot thought back what did happen. “I was having a dream and oh…” She recalled exactly what she has dreamed about. “Just forget it.” 

Lapis finished sweeping and emptied the cup remnants into the trashcan. “I have bad dreams too sometimes, I’m sure you’ve heard me before.” Peridot had heard Lapis before waking up screaming or shouting, the first time had scared her half to death. “Let me look at your head, make sure you didn’t bust it open.” 

Peridot didn’t bother asking Lapis how she had known she hit her head. Lapis’ long fingers ran through her messy blonde hair. Gentle she looked at the back of Peridot’s head. “Nothing there, do you feel okay?” Lapis’ fingers were still in her hair massaging her scalp. “I mean you are hard headed.” 

“I’m fine, adequate.” Peridot finally replied working herself out of the haze of Lapis’ touch. 

“Want me to stay?” Lapis asked her dark blue eyes gazed into Peridot’s and Peridot swore if Lapis asked her anything right then she would’ve said yes. 

“If it is not too much trouble,” Peridot pushed her glasses higher on her nose. “We can catch up on Camp Pining Hearts. You are still behind, correct?” 

“Yeah,” Lapis stood up and pulled Peridot up with her. Peridot went to her backpack on the floor and pulled out her laptop. She sat back down on the bed and began to fiddle with it to find the last episode she remembered Lapis watching. Lapis didn’t wait for an invitation she sat down next to Peridot the two of them squeezing together on an extra-long twin sized bed. Lapis scooted down and put her head on Peridot’s shoulder. The laptop rested on both of their thighs as the episode began. Peridot could feel the heat rise to her face but she kept her cool and let Lapis stay. They fitted so well together, Peridot couldn’t help thinking.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot has another crazy dream once again cut short.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update I have started back up at work (The joys of being a teacher) 
> 
> I'll try to update once every Saturday or Sunday. 
> 
> Thank you for taking the time to read it. 
> 
> -Bree

“Lapis, you’re so wet and warm…” Peridot cooed she was currently two fingers knuckle deep in Lapis. Lapis had her head thrown back her legs spread in bliss, god she’s gorgeous Peridot thought. Something started to shake her and Peridot’s vision swam. Not again! Not another dream! Peridot awoke curled up in her bed sucking on two of her fingers lewdly. Her back was rest against soft warmth. 

Lapis was still there with the laptop resting on her thighs watching Camp Pining Hearts. The room was brighter than it was this morning and looking through blurred vision she saw it was about 3 in the afternoon. “I didn’t want to wake you.” Lapis murmured. Peridot promptly removed her fingers from her mouth. “I…thank you.”

Lapis handed over Peridot’s glasses, “Here.” Peridot took them and pushed herself back up in bed. “I can’t believe I slept so long.” 

“I was keeping an eye on you, I know you aren’t supposed to sleep after a head injury but you just looked so cute. How could I wake you?” Lapis paused her show to look Peridot over. “I should go now though, Jasper might get worried.” She closed the laptop and pushed it down to the end of the bed. 

Peridot couldn’t get over the fact Lapis said she was cute. Even as she was sucking on her fingers having a dream about the other woman, it didn’t matter because she was cute. But now Lapis was leaving and Peridot suddenly felt needy like a child who didn’t want their parent to leave them. “Jasper will be fine…and I feel a little sick. Could you stay longer?” It was wrong so wrong to lie like that. She felt perfectly fine but she didn’t want to lose Lapis’ presence not when they were so comfortable in bed together. 

Lapis nibbled on her bottom lip and fidgeted with the bottom of her shirt. “We were supposed to grab dinner together.” Another date, where did the meathead get the money? Peridot had to change tactics. “I guess I can go to the clinic and have Pearl drive me to campus.” Peridot said in that small pathetic voice she only used when she wanted something. It was wrong but it was so easy to fall back into that lie that she was smaller than she was that she was weaker. It worked on her mother why not Lapis? 

Lapis groaned and ruffled Peridot’s bedhead. “Ugh, fine. But you owe me dinner.” Lapis got up from the bed and went to turn on some lights. “I’ll order us a pizza to share.” Peridot replied suddenly more chipper. Lapis stretched her arms over her head pulling her shirt and exposing the tan skin of her stomach and a dangling navel piercing. “Lemme call Jasper.” Lapis left through the shared bathroom and Peridot laid back down her body flush. 

How could Lapis get more attractive? A tan toned body with long legs for days, choppy blue hair that framed her face perfectly, and now a bellybutton piercing. Peridot shook her head she needed to stop. Lapis is her friend and besides she didn’t come to college for a romance. She had business and tempting body jewelry wasn’t going to distract her. But she couldn’t let that feeling of sleeping so peacefully with the warm body next to her go, it was the most relaxed she’d ever been. 

Lapis returned a few minutes later, “It better be good pizza. Hey are you asleep again?!” 

Peridot rose from the bed, “No! Just um…you know resting. It is the best pizza Fish Pizza.” 

“Ew…fish pizza?” Lapis’ delicate nose wrinkled. 

“It’s just the name. It’s good pizza. The best in Beach City!” Peridot exclaimed. “You’ll see, me and Amethyst order from there all the time.” 

Lapis shrugged, “Okay. I trust you. But I want pineapple.” 

Now it was Peridot’s turn to wrinkle her nose albeit more pointed than Lapis’. “Gross, who wants pineapple on pizza? That’s just ruining a good pizza!” 

Lapis put her hands on her hips and stuck her tongue out, “You have no taste. Do half pineapple and half what you want.” 

So Peridot conceded and when she placed the order it was half pineapple and half veggie. If anyone could convince her pineapple was good on pizza it would be Lapis, that woman could convince her to do almost anything. 

With a slice of Pizza in hand Lapis walked over to Peridot’s PC station she sat down in the razorback chair and wiggled the mouse. “This is fancy.” 

“It’s of my own personal design. 16GB of ram and 7200RPM-” Peridot was cut short by a dismissive look from Lapis. “Skip the nerd talk, what’s it do?”

“You play games on it. PC the master race for any real gamer. I’m a high ranking Overwatch player and I need the best system.” Peridot pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose as she leaned over Lapis. “Here I’ll show you how to play, you can go on my Smurf account.” 

Peridot set to work loading up Overwatch and getting Lapis settled in. “Okay now who do I pick?” Lapis asked hovering over different characters. 

“For starters do you want to heal? Attack? Defend? It all depends on what you’re looking to do. For attack 76 is like any shooter simple, defense you could do a sniper like Widow or you can tank with someone like D.VA.” Peridot pointed to the characters as she rambled. 

Lapis hovered over Mercy, “What about her? What does she do?” 

“Make you want to die. I’m kidding, that’s Mercy she’s a healer but unless you have a good team you’ll end up wishing you didn’t bother.” Peridot sighed. “How about you try Widowmaker, you seem like a sniper kind of girl.” 

“What kind of girl is that, Peri?” Lapis asked innocently over her shoulder as she clicked on the sniper. 

The hot kind? Peridot knew that wasn’t the correct answer. “Uh the um…” 

“Oh! It’s starting what do I do?” Thank you Overwatch Peridot silently set out a thank you to the Blizzard company. 

So Peridot showed her the ropes while they ate pizza. Lapis wasn’t very good but somehow it didn’t bother Peridot, it was endearing it was…cute?


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot is struggling with everything going on. Will she break down?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, okay I know I said I'd update on Saturday or Sunday but your comments fuel me and I finished some things early so I had some time to write. 
> 
> The poem is called "Out of the rolling ocean the crowd" by Walt Whitman.
> 
> As always if you have any questions or just want to talk write a comment they mean a lot to me. 
> 
> Thank you for reading and this one might be my favorite chapter so far. 
> 
> -Bree

Peridot kicked her feet while she watched Pearl swirl the wooden spoon in the pot on the stove. “These accommodations are pleasing…” Peridot mumbled. She had never been in the kitchen the dorm hall shared. Amethyst was leaning back in the old wooden chair sitting at the ancient table in front of her. “Pearl makes the best stuff in here, the other day she made tacos!” 

“Ah, yes the tacos. They were quite fantastic. What was the occasion?” Pearl reminisced she added something more to the mixture she was stirring that brought up a spicy smell in the room. It made Peridot’s eyes water from behind her glasses and she rubbed at her eyes. Amethyst breathed it in like a sweet perfume. “It was for return of Camp Pining Hearts, which Peri missed because she’s a nerd.” Amethyst shot Peridot a pointed look. “Heard from Jasper you apparently were sick and Lapis had to take care of you. Dude, you could’ve called.” 

Peridot had honestly completely forgotten she had made plans with her friend. She was sucked up into the storm that was Lapis Lazuli. It was stupid it was so unlike her, so gross to be obsessed with someone she hardly knew. But Peridot had fallen like a sailor to a siren’s call. She wanted to be around Lapis all the time. She wanted to know what the other girl was doing. She had even taken to sniffing Lapis’ shampoo when she took a shower. It was too much. “I hit my head, everything was confusing.” It wasn’t a complete lie just parts of the story were missing. She had hit her head and the feelings she had were confusing head injury aside. 

Pearl picked up on that, “What do you mean you hit your head? Did you go to the nurse or the campus clinic? You could’ve had a concussion!” Pearl swung the spoon in her hand with each syllable. “My stars, if you were hurt under my watch of all things. Oh Garnet would be so ashamed of me.” 

“Chill out Pearl, clearly P-Dot is fine.” Amethyst shrugged, “Not that we’d see that much of difference.” 

“Hey!” Peridot finally interjected. “I’d like to think you’d know if my faculties weren’t in order.” 

“Nerd talk that’s all I hear.” The lilac haired woman shot back. She opened and closed her hand to mimic talking, “Blah, blah, blah, nerd, and some more nerd.” 

Pearl rolled her eyes and turned back to her cooking. Peridot didn’t mind the teasing it was the way they talked sometimes. “I bet you liked that I wasn’t there. Means you got to eat my share of the food.” 

“You are damn right it did!” Amethyst threw her hand up for a high five and Peridot met it like they’d done a thousand times before. Peridot shot a look to the door behind her that led back to the dorm hall way and in turn back to Lapis. “I’m going to head out, I have some homework to finish up.” 

“But Pearl is making her famous meat sauce!” Amethyst exclaimed. Pearl whipped around, “Do not get in the way of Peridot’s studying. Go on Peridot, I can save you some.” Amethyst laughed at that, “No you can’t.” 

Peridot slipped out of the room without another word. Amethyst and Pearl were going back and forth their own form of flirting. She couldn’t bother thinking about their relationship. She was consumed by her own non-existent one. What was Lapis doing right now? Was she sitting in her room working on her English assignment? Was she strumming the chords of the guitar that was in the corner of the room? Maybe Lapis was in the shower. Then those thoughts slid back into her mind. The time she first saw her roommate and it happened to be when she was half naked. The way the water droplets fell down her shoulders from her hair, her pouty lips turned into a frown. Nope, that’s enough. Peridot ran the rest of the way back to her room and closed the door rather loudly behind her. Safety in her room in her sanctum, but even now Lapis was only two doors away. One bathroom door and then the door to her bedroom, so close. 

Peridot could knock on the door see if Lapis wanted to hang out and talk about their shows or the video games Peridot enthused about. Lapis was reserved when they talked never saying much about herself, it came in snippets. The bellybutton piercing, the tips of a tattoo on her back when she wore a tank top, the way she talked to Jasper when she thought no one was listening. Dark words that Peridot couldn’t even imagine the other woman saying, even worse was Jasper taking it and thanking her. It was something sick and twisted but Peridot listened when she found herself overhearing their engagements. 

Peridot looked at the wooden door that led to the bathroom the first barrier. She knocked on the door softly no reply no sound of the shower going. She went in and closed the door behind her. The second barrier stood in her way now, the door to Lapis’ room. A room she had only seen in glances, Lapis had never invited her. Peridot raised her hand about to rap her knuckles against the wood. Should she? What if Lapis was with Jasper? Too late she was knocking now. 

“Come in!” Lapis called out from the other side. 

Peridot walked in assessing the room around her taking it in for the first time that wasn’t a quick glance. Blue was the first thing that came to mind. Lapis’ sheets a deep blue navy with a knitted light blue blanket on top. The guitar she had seen once was leaning against the end of the bed. Stickers decorated the acoustic body. Her room had paper lanterns hanging in one corner giving off soft light. Music played in the background from the laptop on her desk covered in pictures of the beach. A bookshelf overflowing with books, it was all so much. It was all Lapis. 

Lapis was sitting on a beanbag chair that had a piece of duct tape holding its beans in. A book was in her lap and she was chewing on the end of a blue ink pen lost in thought. She shot a look up, “What’s going on?” 

Peridot was facing sensory overload and she could hardly form a sentence in her brain the smell of sea salt somehow hung in the room. Most of all it felt like she had reached a part of Lapis few had seen. 

Lapis underlined something in the book, “Is it a secret?” She was sitting legs crossed wearing those shorts too short to be legal. “I can keep a secret.” Her voice naturally coy and seductive, it drove Peridot crazy. Now she looked up completely her head cocked to the side and a smirk on her lips. “Peri-dot, what do you want to tell me?” She singsonged sweetly. 

“I just came to see you,” Peridot tugged on the neck of her shirt. Was it warmer in this room? Lapis needed to turn the air down. 

“That’s sweet, my sweet Peri.” Lapis looked back down to her book. “Feel like reading Walt Whitman? It’s for my poetry class. Most of his poems are about his love for this young man, it’s interesting.” Lapis’ eyes locked in on Peridot. “What do you think about that?” 

“Love who you love, right?” Peridot answered. It was sweltering. Lapis patted the spot down on the beanbag next to her impossibly close. “Take a seat and let me bounce some ideas off you.” 

Peridot took the offered seat and Lapis scooted over marginally before she shifted positions altogether. She turned then laid down her head resting in Peridot’s lap the book being shoved into Peridot’s hands. “Read to me.” 

It was scorching and Peridot was sure she was sweating she had to be. Lapis was in her lap soft waves of blue hair spilled out on her jeans and they were so close. Lapis waited patient she hummed to herself and looked up at Peridot as if to say well go ahead now. Peridot cleared her throat and looked at the words on the page they swam. She steadied herself and began, “O-out…” Peridot paused then with a look from Lapis continued. “Out of the rolling ocean the crowd came a drop gently to me, Whispering, I love you, before long I die, I have travell’d a long way merely to look on you to touch you, For I could not die till I once look’d on you, For I fear’d I might afterward lose you.” Peridot thought she’d die if she continued. It was too much all just too much. 

“Go on, your voice is nice.” Lapis urged her on. 

Not your voice is too high pitched too nasally, but nice? “Now we have met, we have look’d, we are safe, Return in peace to the ocean my love, I too am part of that ocean, my love, we are not so much separated, Behold the great rondure, the cohesion of all, how perfect!”

“You never stumble on a word…” Lapis’ voice was barely above a whisper and her eyes were closed. “Peri…” 

“But as for me, for you, the irresistible sea is to separate us, As for an hour carrying us diverse, yet cannot carry us diverse forever; Be not impatient – a little space – know you I salute the air, the ocean and the land, Every day at sundown for your dear sake, my love.” Peridot finished. 

Lapis’ eyes were closed her lips were just calling to Peridot to claim them to take them. She wanted to be impatient like the poem forewarned against she wanted to take the object of her desires and show Lapis how she was feeling. How her brain was a tidal wave of Lapis. Instead she waited for Lapis. 

“Read some more, please.” Lapis turned and snuggled her face into Peridot’s stomach her breath warm even through the shirt that separated skin from lips.

“Okay…”


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot and Jasper go out to support Lapis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I could've kept going with this one but decided to break it up into two chapters. The next chapter will be Jasper's surprise. I like keeping chapters short, means I can make more of them. :) 
> 
> Hope you are enjoying the story. 
> 
> As always if you have any questions please comment I love responding and try to make sure I get back to you soon. 
> 
> -Bree

“Are you coming or not?” Jasper half growled she stood by the door her arms crossed over her chest. “I don’t want to miss Lapis competing.” 

“One second,” Peridot called out from the bathroom. What shirt should she wear? Wait it didn’t matter she’d wear a jacket. No wait she’d wear a tank-top. She eyed her muscle lacking arms, okay back to the shirt. She never cared before what she looked like. It never mattered, clothing was just something she wore because being naked wasn’t going to happen, she finally settled on a gray t-shirt with a front pocket that had an alien poking out from it. She walked out of the bathroom to face Jasper. 

“I don’t know why you can’t take the shuttle…” Jasper grumbled, “Having to take you there, Lapis…” The rest was ineligible as Jasper fumed. Jasper gave Peridot a once over, “This is what took so long? Thought you were going to prom with how long it took.” 

“Don’t be a clod, Jasper.” Peridot responded her voice biting. “Let’s go I don’t want to be late.”

Jasper picked up the motorcycle helmet she had put on the bookshelf in Peridot’s room. “Here put this on,” She plopped the helmet onto Peridot’s head not waiting for a response from the other woman. She opened the door and headed out. 

Peridot adjusted the helmet on her head silently praying it didn’t give her helmet hair. Everyone knew Jasper had an old school Harley Davidson motorcycle, it was her chick magnet. At least that’s what Jasper called it, or used to. Now it was being used to bring them both to Lapis’ swim meet. The first of the season and Lapis’ first at the school. Jasper was bristly because she was nervous; she was a competitor and couldn’t stand losing. Peridot doubted she’d accept a loss today, even though she wasn’t competing. Jasper got on to the deep red motorcycle first swinging her leg over. 

“Get on the back, squirt.” Jasper waited for Peridot to clamber onto the back. There was nothing to hold on to except Jasper. She gingerly put her hands onto Jasper’s hips, it was uncomfortable and Jasper’s mane of hair itched her face when she leaned closer making sure to hold on tight. Jasper started the motorcycle and it roared to life she pealed out of the dorm parking lot. Peridot gripped tighter digging her fingers into Jasper’s jeans. Each turn she leaned further into Jasper until she was plastered to the woman’s back.

“You can let go now…” Jasper finally said after what felt like hours, it had only been ten minutes. Peridot unpeeled herself from Jasper’s back and wobbled off the motorcycle almost tripping as she got off but was caught by a steadying hand from Jasper. “Relax, solid ground and all that.” 

Jasper hefted herself off the motorcycle and set the kickstand up. “Let’s go, the match will be starting soon.” Jasper said after a quick glance at the watch on her hand. Peridot followed still in a daze to the pool area where people were flooding in through the front doors. The school song was playing loud over the speakers and Peridot was thankful for the helmet still on her head making the music muffled. Jasper pushed and shoved her way to a good seat on the bleachers and pulled Peridot down next to her. Jasper waved and Peridot followed her gaze to see Lapis. 

Lapis wore the traditional navy blue one piece swimsuit that was befitting the school colors. Her hair was concealed under a cap and she stood at the ready in front of a lane. From here Peridot could make out the tattoo on Lapis’ tan back. Dark wings spread over her shoulder blades. Before she could study them longer the whistle was blown and the competition was on. The rivaling school from Empire City didn’t stand a chance. Lapis was powerful in the water with strong strokes of her arms and determination that couldn’t waver. She blew her competitor out of the water on the freestyle. Cheers rung out and Jasper was the loudest of them all she stood up and swung her arms in the air cheering for Lapis Lazuli. Lapis looked at them and gave a half smile and a wave before being pulled over by the coach. 

It blurred together for Peridot with all of the noise and commotion and she released she had never taken the helmet off her head but it made her feel safe and comfortable. But she watched even if she didn’t scream and cheer her eyes were glued to Lapis. Taking in the way a towel was draped over her shoulders, the way she cheered for her teammates during their turns. When it was over Jasper grabbed Peridot’s hand and dragged her over to were Lapis stood slipping a pair of shorts on over her bathing suit.  


“Babe, you were amazing! You crushed that girl!” Jasper picked Lapis up and spun her around in a big bear hug. “You made me so proud.” Those words were quitter meant for the two of them. Peridot stood awkwardly to the side waiting her turn to congratulate Lapis. 

Jasper set Lapis back down and took off her jacket to drape on Lapis’ shoulders. Lapis pulled the large jacket tighter around herself and then her attentions were on Peridot. “Thank you for coming out to watch, I know you aren’t really into sports.” 

I’m into you? No that wasn’t the correct response and Jasper would likely toss Peridot straight into the pool. “Well you are my roommate after all. I had to come support you.” 

Lapis’ smile turned down slightly, “Of course.” 

“Let’s go celebrate! I have some stuff in my room I was saving for your victory!” Jasper said she led them back to her motorcycle and Peridot saw the problem. There were three of them and Jasper took up enough room as it was. “Hmmm” Jasper pondered aloud looking at the motorcycle. 

“Peridot can sit in my lap. She’s small so it won’t be a big deal.” Lapis rationalized. Peridot’s face flushed with color at the thought of being so close to Lapis. 

“Works for me, just make sure you don’t fall off.” And with that Jasper straddled her motorcycle and waited for Lapis. Lapis slid on behind Jasper and then offered her hand to Peridot. She’d be squeezed in-between Lapis and Jasper, a semi-pleasant sandwich. With Lapis’ help she sat on the other woman’s lap. Lapis wrapped her arms around Peridot’s waist. “I’ll keep you safe,” She whispered. Peridot leaned forward to get her death hold back on Jasper’s jeans hooking her thumbs through her belt loops. Jasper’s motorcycle once again roared to life and then were speeding down back to the dorms this time at a slower pace. 

Lapis pressed tight against Peridot’s back and Peridot could feel everything. The swell of Lapis’ breast on her back, the hands wrapped around her waist that occasionally played with the hem of her shirt, fingers slid against her bare stomach as her shirt rode up from Lapis’ toying. Lapis’ hands were cold frigid fingers that explored her warm skin. It was wrong but it made butterflies explode within her and she held on even tighter to Jasper. Part of her wanted this ride to be over immediately so she could hide in her room for the next thousand years and another part of her a bigger part never wanted it to end. She could die happy here pressed between the two girlfriends. 

But all good things must come to an end and once Jasper pulled into her parking spot the fingers on her stomach left and her shirt was fixed haphazardly. Jasper got off first and helped Peridot down basically picking her up and setting her aside so she could take Lapis’ hand and scoop her off the motorcycle bridal style. “I’ve got a treat for us.” 

Peridot would take her leave here and began to walk away before being pulled back by the collar of her shirt. “You are coming too, runt.” Peridot could only imagine what Jasper meant and took a hard swallow. “Sure.”


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jasper brings her surprise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS NON-CON 
> 
> I just wanted to make sure i warned anyone who might be triggered by non-con acts. 
> 
> This chapter is extra angsty and takes a dark turn. No more cute fluff now. This one is short and I kept it that way to make the events seem very quick and it is all happening too fast. Next chapter will be longer and slower. 
> 
> Thank you for reading and if you couldn't read this chapter due to triggering this just send a message and I will give you a brief summary. 
> 
> As always thank you for taking the time to read this, please comment with any questions or concerns. 
> 
> -Bree

Peridot had begun to wonder how she got herself into this situation sitting in a beanbag chair in Lapis’ room. Jasper had shooed them both away to go and get her surprise. She didn’t know why she was nervous, it wasn’t for some surprise. It was being alone with Lapis after the motorcycle. Most of all she feared what Jasper would do if she ever found out. 

“Do you mind if I change?” Lapis asked. 

Peridot looked up, Lapis had already shed Jasper’s jacket and was working on sliding her shorts off. Peridot closed her eyes and turned the other way to face the way. “I can leave if you want.” 

“I don’t want that.” The sound of wet clothes hit the floor and Peridot clenched her hands into fists and dug her nails into her palms. Drawers were opened and Peridot counted the seconds that dragged on to minutes. A chilly hand caressed her cheek and she slowly opened her eyes to Lapis leaning down in front of her, clothed in a loose fitting tank top and shorts. “Did I scare you?” 

In so many ways, but it excited her more the endless possibilities. “No, you did not.” Peridot replied watching Lapis’ face for any indicators. Lapis’ pouty lips curved into a small smile that tugged on the corners of her lips. “I’m surprised you didn’t watch.” 

There it was again that coy flirting that could be passed off as a joke if it needed to. Now it was Lapis’ turn to watch Peridot’s reaction to see if she got a rise out of the shorter woman. Peridot tried but failed to think of a response, “It would have been rude.” She settled on that. 

“Such a gentleman or gentlewoman I should say.” Lapis ruffled Peridot’s blonde hair. “Nice helmet hair.” 

Back to teasing it was a dance they did. Flirt, deny, tease, then back to the beginning again. Lapis went to her stereo to play some music she fiddled with the dials while Peridot attempted to fix her hair. 

“I’m back!” Jasper burst through the door her arms filled with large brown paper bags. She used her foot to shut the door behind her and set the goods down on Lapis’ bed. Jasper began pulling items out mostly alcoholic in nature and snack cakes. Jasper grabbed a beer from the six pack she had and tossed one to Lapis who caught it. Her face changed but Peridot couldn’t place it. Something was off. Jasper took a can and walked over to Peridot, “Here.” 

Peridot thought if she squished down far enough into the beanbag chair she might fuse with it and disappear. She’d prefer almost anything to this, drinking cheap beer with Jasper. But she took the can anyways and held it in one hand staring at the label and surgeon general warnings. She was underage and Pearl would have a heart attack if she knew there was underage drinking in her dorm. Tops were popped and Jasper downed her beer in one go crushing the can and tossing it into the garbage like shooting baskets. Lapis was more civilized taking long sips before her can was also empty. She skipped over the next beer offered and went straight for the bottle of whiskey. Peridot still watched her own can thinking of the last time she had a drink was it must have been some outrageously expensive wine her mother brought to pair with dinner. A glass of red is good for you, that was the excuse. But beer wasn’t good for her. 

“Come on Peridot, don’t be a baby.” Jasper taunted, “Never had a beer before?”

In fact she had not. But she carefully popped the top of the beer can and took a small sip. She balked at the bitter taste and made a face. If she could scrape her tongue of the flavor she would. “Disgusting…” 

Lapis laughed and grabbed a cup and began mixing a drink she sauntered over to Peridot. “Here, I have better taste than Jasper any way.” Peridot took the red solo cup filled with who knew what. She brought the cup to her mouth and only wanted a sip but Lapis held the cup to her lips until she drank a good amount. It burned her throat and made her entire body heat up, what was that, liquid lava? 

“Whiskey and coke,” Lapis read her mind and with a grin took a sip from Peridot’s cup. “Have some more.” She handed it back and because Lapis asked Peridot listened. 

*****************  
“God she’s heavy.” Peridot complained, one half of Jasper was draped over her and the other on Lapis. As they half carried her back to her room. Lapis just giggled completely wasted and Jasper was passed out drunk. They managed to get the door open and with much struggling and some cursing they got Jasper in bed. Peridot let out a loud groan and her stomach churned too much alcohol, stuff she had never touched before today. Lapis drank like a fish as if whiskey was her lifeline after a few drinks she didn’t even bother pouring a cup and drank straight from the bottle. Lapis took her hand and dragged her along back to Lapis’ room. 

Peridot turned to go back to her own room through the bathroom door but Lapis caught her by the shoulder turning her around till they were facing one another. Too close. “I know how you feel about me.” Lapis’ words slurred as she spoke. “I see the way you look at me.” 

“I don’t know what you are talking about,” Peridot shot back but it was weak her voice was so damn weak. Lapis leaned in closer and their lips met in a drunken kiss, Peridot’s first kiss. Lapis’ hands went from her shoulders down to her hips and her tongue ran across Peridot’s lips. The blue haired woman got what she wanted as Peridot gasped she slipped her tongue into the blonde’s mouth taking everything she could. Peridot put her hands on Lapis’ arms to push her back but ended up being shoved against the wall. Teeth pulled at her bottom lip and moved down to her neck to bite on the sensitive skin there. 

“Lapis…stop…please.” Peridot swatted at Lapis to try to get the taller woman to stop. But Lapis was on a mission and she pressed her hand tight against Peridot’s mouth. “Be quiet, I know how badly you want this.” With her free hand Lapis groped Peridot’s breast. “Enjoy it.” 

Peridot grabbed the wrist of the hand on her mouth and dug her nails into the skin there making Lapis hiss in pain. “I said STOP IT!” Peridot shouted at her. “I don’t want this! Not like this…” 

Lapis looked like she was shaken out of a haze and backed away with her hands up her wrist was bleeding from where Peridot scratched her. Peridot took her chance and ran through the bathroom and back to her room locking all of the doors before tears began to fall down her face. It had been so long since she cried and it all came out in choking sobs and hot tears that ran down her freckled cheeks. How could Lapis do that to her? She went to her bed and gathered all of the covers and buried herself under their weight. It gave her something some comfort as she sobbed violently. Lapis had broken something in her that she had repaired too many times with duct tape and glue. Her trust was shattered once again, this time though she doubted she could fix it.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot has to think about what happened the night before. She hates that she has to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING THIS CHAPTER HAS SLIGHT SELF-HARM  
> If you are triggered by self-harm please message me and I can summarize the chapter for you and leave out the self-harm.   
> It is slight self-harm not cutting or anything of that nature. 
> 
> This chapter is more about the thoughts Peridot has swimming around her. It's short and more action will happen in the next chapter. Lapis is still sleeping the drunk off :p
> 
> Thank you for reading and as always please leave a comment if you have any questions or concerns. 
> 
> -Bree

Peridot awoke in the morning with a nasty headache and a dry taste in her mouth. She felt for her glasses on the bedside table and slid them on. She sluggishly slipped out of bed and shivered at the cold tile on her bare feet. She made her way to the bathroom through bleary eyes. The smell jarred her. The smell of the ocean that sweet salty spray that permeated from Lapis, from the woman who…who attacked her. She reached for the door that led to Lapis’ room and locked it tight closing out the other woman from the bathroom for the time being. Peridot went to the sink and set her glasses aside to wet her face with some water, something to refresh her and make her feel clean. She felt so stale and used. Her bright green eyes stared back at her in the mirror over the sink and she saw the outline of a hickey on her neck. A dark ugly purple and blue bruise with teeth marks around the skin. Peridot wanted to scrub the offending mark off, cut it off even. It was a reminder of something she rather forget, it was like tattooing someone’s name on your face, claimed. She wasn’t her own person with that mark. Most important was the fact she had a hickey it would be questioned and examined, another problem. 

“That’s all this ever was…just a problem.” Peridot muttered she moved away from the sink but left her glasses on the counter. A shower would help; it would wash away the shame, the misery, and hopefully the memories. Peridot set the water to hot and stripped down to step into the boiling water that seared her skin. It stung and burned and made her think about anything but the pain inside herself it was outward pain that she could deal with. She could bite her lip and think about how her skin was turning bright red. She took a wash cloth and rubbed at the mark on her neck till she tore at the skin rubbing it raw. Peridot needed something anything but the thoughts chasing her, the endless loop of the night before that plagued her vision. She licked at her bottom lip and tasted her copper flavored blood, she had cut open her lip. She was biting too hard clinging too hard. 

Peridot shut the water off suddenly and drew the curtain back she quickly redressed and refused to look in the mirror. She grabbed her glasses off the counter by feeling for them. She didn’t want to chance even a glance at her own reflection. Before she left she unlocked the door that led to Lapis’ room. As much as she’d like to hold the bathroom hostage she’d get an earful from Pearl, though she doubted Lapis would tattle. Peridot could tell such better stories about last night then Lapis could ever spin about a bathroom. Peridot could utter the bitter truth and Lapis’ truth would seem pale in comparison. But she still unlocked the door and left the bathroom to go back to the comfort of her bed. 

This Lapis situation had gotten out of control. She had neglected her studies and she grabbed her text book and tossed it on the bed to memorize formulae and algorithms. To fill her brain up with numbers and science, the way she used to. She cracked open the book she’d been using as a dinner tray and set to the pages with a furious passion. The door creaked and she panicked and balked ready to toss her text book at the intruder until she saw who it was. Garnet stood in the doorway a master key in her hand. Garnet walked in without a word and shut the door behind her. She held a natural commanding presence more so even than Jasper. 

“There was a noise complaint last night, Pearl asked me to check on it.” Garnet said in that thick British accent that flowed off her tongue in a musical melody. “She assumed it was another one of your games but I wanted to check in on you.” Garnet approached the bed her eyes always concealed behind a set of shades. “The words reported were ‘stop it’, very loud then silence it worried the girl who called it in.” 

“It was a bad match,” Peridot lied she couldn’t look someone in the eye and lie so she set her gaze to her book. “I got really upset with the other team and just yelled.” 

Garnet always knew more than she ever let on she stood in a passive stance, “If there is anything you ever need to tell me. I am here for you, Peridot.” Garnet waited and Peridot withheld. What could she honestly say? I was trying to get with my friend’s girlfriend? That would go over just great…

“Don’t overwork yourself, and come visit sometime.” Garnet finally said after her waiting did not pay off. “My door is always open.” With that Garnet began to leave before throwing a glance over her shoulder. “I’ll let Pearl know the girl who complained heard wrong, but just this once.” Then Garnet left closing the door behind her and sealing out the world. 

Peridot’s hands were shaking and she knew tears were rolling down her cheeks. She wanted to sob and tell Garnet everything to tell her about all the turmoil in her mind. The fact she had never felt anything for anyone before Lapis and then it was all smashed into a million pieces by a drunk kiss and grope. By the fact Lapis just wanted a quick intoxicated fuck. That’s what hurt worse than the touches and the bite on her neck. The fact that she truly meant nothing to Lapis Lazuli beyond a body to touch and press into, she was just something to screw and toss away in the morning. 

Peridot couldn’t do that she refused to be someone’s plaything not again. Not after she escaped the grasps of her previous life. Not when she began to feel like she was worth something more than her last name. But Lapis had erased those feelings in just a few minutes with just a few touches. With just a whiskey flavored kiss.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot tries to motivate herself to do something....things just get worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More angst! 
> 
> I promise it will eventually stop and we will go back to happy times soon...
> 
> As always thank you for reading and sticking with the story thus far. 
> 
> PS: I have a special surprise I commissioned Dement09 on Tumblr to draw up a scene from chapter 10. Take a guess on what it is ;p  
> Once she has it done I will post a link. If you haven't heard of Dement09, she is an amazing artist that is also a huge Lapidot lover. She has her own comic she's working on about Peridot and Lapis. So check her out and send some love her way.

Peridot kept herself busy since Garnet’s visit she had cleaned her room and went to the bathroom to empty the trash in there when the door to Lapis’ room opened. Peridot started to back away but it was too late Lapis had seen her. 

“Peri, wait.” Lapis called out and Peridot froze from her retreat. “Last night was pretty crazy, I don’t really remember everything. Did Jasper get back okay?” 

Peridot clenched the garbage bag in her hands tighter. She wished she could forget everything that had happened just like Lapis did. She wanted to wake up slightly hung over and with holes in her memory. But she was unfortunate in that she remembered everything that happened. Even more unfortunate was the fact she couldn’t let it go, every time she closed her eyes she saw what happened to her again and again a constant loop.

Lapis touched her wrist and looked at the dried up blood there. “Ugh, what is this from?” Lapis went to go for the sink and Peridot backed away further the movement not going unnoticed from Lapis. “What’s wrong?” 

“I…I have to go.” Peridot exited the bathroom and closed the door she pressed against the door on her side. With dorms like this her door leading to the bathroom didn’t lock and so Lapis could bust in when she wanted to. Lapis jiggled the door handle and when she got nowhere she knocked on the wood between them. 

“Peridot, please tell me what’s wrong.” Lapis called out from the other side. “Did something happen last night?” 

“You…” Peridot froze and the words caught in her throat. “You kissed me…” 

Lapis didn’t say anything for a minute then two. “I’m sorry I was drunk. I probably thought you were Jasper.” It was a lie and Peridot knew it. 

“You touched me when I said no!” The words came out faster now for Peridot and she realized she was angry about it. How fucking easy for Lapis to not remember. “You bit me and I had to fight you off!” Peridot hit the wood of the door behind her. “You ruined everything…” 

Lapis didn’t say another word there was bitter silence from the other side of the door. Then the distinct sound of a desperate cry and smashing of glass. Peridot could hear shards of glass fall to the floor making light clinks on the tile. Lapis had lost it. Peridot heard the door close on Lapis’ side and she knew the other girl had left the bathroom. Peridot carefully opened her side of the bathroom and peeked her head in. The mirror above the sink had been shattered into a million pieces and there were droplets of blood in the sink. Did Lapis punch the mirror? 

Some small part of Peridot was worried and she wanted to rush to the other room and check on Lapis to see if the other woman was okay. The larger part told her that Lapis had hurt her and she feel some part of that pain. It was fair if she was hurt, it was right. Peridot walked out of the bathroom and went back to her own room. The larger part won this time and she felt sick satisfaction in her tormentor’s pain. It wasn’t her job to make Lapis feel better especially after what she had done. 

The only thing Peridot could do now was to look out for herself, everyone else just got in the way. 

******************************************************************************************** 

Much later when night had long since fallen, someone was knocking on Peridot’s door. Lapis had been quite for the rest of the day not a single sound, which was fine with her. It was easy to forget Lapis existed when she didn’t make a peep. Peridot got out of bed and went to the door to see who was bothering her at this hour, probably Pearl checking in on her before she went to bed. Peridot unlocked the door prepared to shoo Pearl away saying she was fine and to have a goodnight, but Jasper was darkening her doorstep with her massive form. She stepped in before Peridot could say a word. “What happened last night?” Jasper crossed her arms over her chest and gave a pointed look. “Don’t lie to me either, Peridot.” 

“What is this about?” Peridot retorted with a dirty look. What did Lapis tell Jasper? Some sick lie about what happened last night? 

Jasper took in the room around her like a warrior surveying a scene before a battle. What weapons were available and where was the best vantage point? “Lapis isn’t responding to any of my calls or texts. She won’t open her door either.” Jasper quickly deflated from aggressor to nervous school girl. “I am worried I might have done or said something that hurt her feelings…if I did you would know, right?” Jasper looked at her with pleading golden eyes. “Tell me if I did something.” 

Why did no one besides her remember the night before? If she had swallowed the bitter pill and erased the memories in her mind she could’ve pretended to forget. Instead she had started something that was going to be a struggle. Lapis was upset because of what she had done and in turn that upset Jasper who now was begging Peridot for answers. Lying would be easier than the truth, shit, anything would be easier than the truth. 

Peridot made her decision and swallowed the lump in her throat and clenched her hands into fists. “You were passed out drunk so Lapis and I decided to take you back to your room. We got you back safely.” She faltered. No she had to rip off the Band-Aid. “We got back to her room and I was going to retire for the night. She was very drunk and she pulled me into a kiss.” Peridot waited for the explosion but Jasper’s face revealed nothing. “She tried to take it further and I couldn’t…I begged her to stop I yelled at her to stop. Nothing worked until I pulled her off me. She woke up the next day not remembering a fucking thing. Isn’t that just my luck? I am the only one who remembers! I could’ve lied to you to her and everything would be the same.” Peridot was hyperventilating now as it all rushed out. “I didn’t push her away or ask her to stop because I cared about your feelings I did it because I wanted her all to myself. I didn’t want left over drunken kisses and touches. I want all of her, and I ended up with nothing.” Peridot’s chest ached and her lungs burned. She tossed her hands up and paced her room. “Say something, Jasper! Tell me you hate me!” 

Jasper let out a big long sigh, “I’m not mad at you. I do not hate you.” The words came out slow and steady. Peridot didn’t want slow and steady she wanted fast and angry, she wanted a fight. “I wanted your girlfriend this whole time!” 

“So?” Jasper replied, “You didn’t actually do anything. But I guess that’s just it, you never do anything Peridot. You want to be a bystander to everything around you. If someone touches you or likes you, you wait. It could be five years from now and you still wouldn’t do anything.” Jasper let out a hallow laugh. “So I’m not mad at you. It isn’t your fault. Lapis…there is a lot going on with her.” 

Peridot was still reeling from Jasper’s scathing remarks. The truth always hurt more than any lie. Jasper was right if left to her own devices Peridot would do nothing and say nothing she was content to stand on the side and watch everyone else. She always watched what everyone else did, not once did she think she should act. 

“Lapis has a lot of pain inside her that comes out in strange ways. I can’t tell you why she did what she did and I am not excusing it. But I know she cares about you. You are all she ever talks about.” Jasper continued. “I was also content to just let Lapis do what she wanted. I liked the way it felt to let someone dominate me. I liked how she consumed all of me until I couldn’t find myself.” Jasper gave Peridot one last fleeting look. “She had this darkness in her and it will hurt every single person she touches, us included.” Jasper went to the door she entered from, “Call me tomorrow, I have someone you might want to talk to.” 

After the hurricane of news left Jasper’s mouth she was deflated and left like a kicked puppy, somber and solemn. Peridot looked around her room and everything felt like it was caving in on her. It was too tight, the room, her clothes, her mind. It was constricting and suffocating. Jasper dropped a bomb on her and just left like it was nothing, as if she had just brought over some borrowed sugar. Peridot was losing it, her grip on the situation. What could she lose herself in now? What could distract her from the crushing weight on her chest? She wracked her brain for an answer and found nothing. There was nothing she could do. Tomorrow she would call Jasper, and if that didn’t help maybe just maybe she would talk to Garnet.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jasper brings someone to help Peridot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I was super excited about writing this chapter and the one after it. I'm very happy to have introduced the character I did. :P 
> 
> As always thank you for reading and if you have any questions or concerns please leave a comment. I love replying to you guys. 
> 
> PS: Sorry I left it at a cliffhanger but that just means next chapter will be that much more interesting. 
> 
> -Bree

Waking up the next morning she called Jasper and left a voicemail for the other woman to get back to her when she could. Knowing Jasper she was probably on a run or jog. Peridot couldn’t let this eat her up anymore. She knocked quietly on the bathroom door to make sure Lapis wasn’t using it. No answer. Peridot wasn’t ready to talk to Lapis, not yet. But she could do something for the other woman. Peridot went to her closet and grabbed a pair of boots and yanked them on. Next she rifled through her school supplies in the bottom drawer of her desk. “Yes!” She exclaimed when she found them. Thick black rubber gloves that she was required to buy last semester for chemistry. She pulled them on and they ended at her elbows. One more thing and she was ready to tackle her task. She got her broom and dustpan and went into the shared bathroom. 

Glass was still on the floor and pooled in the sink with blood. Lapis sure did make a mess. What was the saying? Seven years of bad luck? Peridot mused as she began sweeping the shards off the floor. It was peaceful the little clinks the glass made on the tile floor as they shuffled into the dustpan. She got everything off the floor and moved to the sink. There was a lot of blood staining the clean white sink bowl. Peridot began picking up the pieces of glass by hand protected by her gloves. She tossed the remnants of mirror into the dustpan as she went along. The only thing left of the mirror was the frame and a few large shards of glass still hanging to the frame. Peridot carefully removed the frame from the bathroom wall it was an easy latch system. With the dustpan held under one arm and the mirror frame held out in front of her. Peridot made her way out of the bathroom and down the hall to the garbage shoot tossing out the mirror frame and emptying her dustpan. 

Peridot was right by Pearl’s door. She thought about all of the blood in the sink. It was a split second decisions. She was knocking on Pearl’s door. The resident assistant answered looking concerned. “Peridot, I didn’t expect to see you.” She looked down at the dustpan in Peridot’s hand. “Were you cleaning?” 

“Yes, I thought about what you said. I don’t want my room to end up like Amethysts.” Peridot replied. She wasn’t ready to explain it all to Pearl. She might never be ready for that. “I came by to ask if I could borrow some things.” 

Pearl’s lips pulled into a soft smile, “Whatever you need.” 

Peridot returned to her room with her borrowed supplies. She ripped a page out of her notebook and set to writing. Once finished she went back to the bathroom. She set down the Band-Aids, gauze and antiseptic cream on the bathroom counter and then she put her note down in front of her borrowed treasures. She wasn’t ready to talk to Lapis, not directly. But this…this would have to do. 

*****************************************************  
Peridot was busy finishing up a paper she was assigned a few days ago when Jasper walked in. She had left the door unlocked for her friend. Jasper was still wearing her jogging attire. Tight shorts that hugged her thighs and a sports bra, her bronze skinned stomach was exposed with a sweat sheen to it. Jasper’s long beige hair was pulled into a ponytail and her bangs pushed out of her face. “You’re staring.” Jasper said interrupting Peridot’s analysis. 

“I didn’t expect you to come in her half naked.” Peridot teased. Easily falling back into the role of annoying friend, Jasper took it in stride. “Wish you looked like this?” Jasper flexed her arms and abdominal muscles. “I could always make a workout regimen for you. Protein rich diet, runs in the morning then maybe just maybe you could look half as good as me.” Jasper finished with a cocky smirk. 

Peridot just smiled she could express how much it meant to her that Jasper wasn’t angry with her. The fact Jasper understood and is trying to help. It meant everything. Jasper would always be the friend that used to protect her from the jock beef heads that use to play keep away with her tablet. Jasper stuck up for the little guy, always. “But that’s not why I’m here.” Jasper was nervous she rubbed at the back on her neck. “I brought someone to help. I wanted to make sure that’s okay before I brought her in.” 

“Who is it?” Peridot asked. She had to trust Jasper; she had to believe in at least one person. So she was open to whoever was waiting just outside her bedroom. 

Jasper’s cheeks flushed red. “My aunt, she’s a psychiatrist at the mental health building on campus. You didn’t think I got into this school on just my looks alone, right?” 

Peridot brought her thumb to her face to chew at the skin around her thumbnail. She didn’t like the idea of a shrink in her room knowing about everything. But this was Jasper’s family so she must be okay, at least that’s what Peridot would tell herself. “Okay,” Peridot gave her consent. 

Jasper went to the door and stuck her head out and whispered to someone outside when she opened the door a woman with thick curly long dark pink hair walked in. She wore a smooth clean white dress and a warm smile. “Hello Peridot, my name is Rose Quartz.” The woman spoke and her voice had a calming melody to it. “Jasper told me you needed a little help, I’m here to do just that.” Rose patted Jasper on the forearm. “Why don’t you leave us for a few minutes so we can talk?” Jasper nodded in agreement and gave Peridot one last look and an encouraging smile before walking out. 

Peridot scrambled out of her computer chair, “Here you can sit here and I will take the bed.” Peridot’s movements were jumpy as she scrambled onto her bed. Rose took the offered seat and crossed her legs at the ankle. “Thank you for welcoming me into your home,” Rose leaned back slightly and waited. 

“Aren’t you going to take out a notebook or something?” Peridot asked. That’s what psychiatrists did in movies. Rose shook her head no, “I’m just here to listen to what you want to talk about and hopefully offer some good advice.” 

Peridot took in a deep breath and let it out slowly, “I guess I’ll start at the beginning…”


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We learn a little more about Peridot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short one but I feel like I haven't updated in forever so i wanted to crank one out while i had a little time.
> 
> I wanted to make sure we heard some of Peridot's story but also left some of it a mystery. She's not ready to reveal everything. (Not yet). 
> 
> Next time we get to hear about Lapis...
> 
> Thank you for reading and please leave any questions or concerns in the comments below. I enjoy talking with everyone. 
> 
> -Bree

What was the beginning for her? Peridot pondered, was it her first memories of life or the moment she escaped her home and went to college? She decided on the literal beginning the one that shaped her into what she is. 

“My mother she isn’t a warm person. She’s cold, powerful and isn’t afraid to get what she wants. I lived in a mansion with a lot of empty rooms. It was just my mother and I as well as the maids and housekeepers. My mother also kept her assistant around at all times, business came first.” Peridot paused and looked at Rose Quartz for reassurance, Rose nodded with a smile and Peridot went on. “I had a lot of books to read and tutors that taught me to read them. One day I read a story about a husband and wife with their baby. I had my mother but I lacked a father. I asked my tutor why but she balked and redirected me. At dinner that night at the big lonely table where my mother and I interacted just the once a day I asked her, ‘where is my father?’’ Peridot took a hard swallow and fiddled with a loose string on her shirt. “My mother laughed ‘father? What gave you the foolish notion you ever had one?’ I was a child I couldn’t comprehend what she was telling me. ‘I never needed a man to get in my way. But I did need a child an heir to all of this you, so no father silly girl.’ I was crushed and what that meant I couldn’t figure out.”

“It made you feel different? Did you interact with other children as a child?” Rose asked. 

“Of course I felt different I was a child who just had a mother, I didn’t know what a sperm donor was. Which I found out much later is what she used. She couldn’t stand human contact, no hug or touching. I didn’t know any other children I made friends of the house staff, I suppose. When I was older I mostly played video games.” Peridot hated bringing up the past she worked so hard to stuff into the dark recesses of her memories. It didn’t help that the Lapis situation had brought back those feelings she had as a child of betrayal and feeling used. 

“Your mother did not like to be touched?” Rose asked her eye brows raised in shock before resuming back to a neutral look. 

Peridot had to resist the urge to get off her bed and begin pacing around the room. Instead she dug her nails into the mattress beneath her. “No. She hated it if I ever touched her. Filthy child hands shouldn’t touch her. As I got older I just didn’t try to. Hugs were a foreign concept before I got here and people throw them around like confetti. Handshakes are about all my mother can stand and her assistant has hand sanitizer nearby for afterwards. I don’t mind being touched I…I kind of like it…” Peridot petered off feeling embarrassed all of the sudden. 

“I’m sorry that happened to you. Jasper told me there is something important you wanted to talk about.” Rose changed the subject. 

“Oh, right. Lap-uh no, someone who is my friend did something I didn’t want. It was scary and I didn’t expect it from her, I thought I could trust her.” Peridot dug her nails deeper into the mattress. “The problem was that I did want it. I just didn’t want it that way, forced on me and then left to be forgotten the next morning. Or worse a continuous affair that had to be hid behind closed doors. I’ve had enough of closed doors to last a life time. I don’t want to lie or build something on lies. I’m not my mother…I promised myself I would never be like that. But this girl she makes me want to lie and cheat and anything else I need to in order to get her. I don’t want to share or have to hide it. I want to shout out my feelings to the world so everyone knows!” Peridot finished her cheeks were flushed and her nails buried into the mattress. “I miss her…” 

Rose folded her hands in her lap and smiled. “I understand how hard it must be for you to hide or lie, after you had too for so long. This girl though, is she worth all of this?” 

Peridot didn’t hesitate, “Yes. I’m worried about her. She hurt herself the other day. I don’t think it was an accident. Jasper…Jasper said there is darkness in this girl that she can’t explain.” 

“Help is a hard thing to seek out and cannot be forced on to anyone. If someone truly wants to change they will make the steps necessary to do so. What you can do for her is offer support and options. She can come speak to me or I can make a house call like this. But she needs to make the decision, an intervention of sorts will not be effective. When humans are cornered we are scared. Some react with anger and lash out others with fear and will lie to satisfy what we are looking for.” Rose stood up. “Peridot, come see me anytime. For now just be a shoulder to lean on, but make the boundaries clear. Only you can set those for yourself.” 

Peridot stood up and they looked at each other. “Can I give you a hug?” Peridot asked. “Of course,” Rose replied with a smile, “I am a hugger.” 

Peridot said her goodbyes and Jasper hugged her aunt before saying her own hushed farewells. Once Rose was gone their eyes met. “I want you to tell me.” Peridot said softly.  
“Tell you what?” Jasper asked clearly confused. 

“Everything about Lapis, you care about her and so do I. I want to help her.” Peridot stood her ground ready to fight about it if need be. But Jasper folded easily, “Okay. But I can only tell you what she’s told me. I don’t know anything else.” Peridot nodded in agreement. “Let’s sit down and order something to eat, this will take a while.”


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jasper tells Peridot what she knows about Lapis Lazuli, which isn't much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted Jasper to be that annoying older sister or friend in this chapter very much teasing Peridot. 
> 
> Thank you for reading please leave a comment or question. :)

They had ordered tacos from a place in town Jasper was busy chomping down on a hard shell taco while lounging in Peridot’s bed. Getting taco shell crumbs everywhere! “Damnit Jasper! Not on my bed!” Jasper just gave a big roll of her shoulders and finished the taco licking her fingers afterwards. Infuriating, but so very Jasper it ached. “Okay, pipsqueak. Sit down and listen up.” 

Peridot sat down at her computer chair and rolled herself over to the bed to talk to Jasper. She tried to ignore the crumbs that decorated her top-hat alien sheets. Jasper yawned and stretched her legs out kicking Peridot’s pillows off the bed. “So you want to know about, Lappy?” Jasper taunted with a knowing grin. “Why else would I buy you dinner and then let you eat on my bed?” Peridot hissed through clenched teeth. 

Jasper waved her off with a massive hand. “Shush. So Lapis she likes it rough, really rough.” Jasper laughed. “This isn’t a joke!” Peridot was growing impatient. “Lapis isn’t from this area really. She came from a small town in Jersey, tried to pick a school that was far from home.” Jasper paused for a moment to take a sip of water. “Why?” Peridot asked. 

“Just wait,” Jasper sighed setting her water down. “I don’t know why. Something happened. Something bad she had to run away from someone, a coach or a teacher it was like that.” Jasper wiggled her eye brows for emphasis. 

“Like what?” Peridot was stumped. 

“You know…” Jasper made a crude gesture, “Fuckin the teacher.” 

“Oh my…” Peridot was able to say. Would Lapis really do that? “So she got caught?” 

“No. The teacher was a bitch, a really mean one too. Threatened Lapis and forced her to do things she didn’t want to do. I guess Lapis was able to turn the tables and escape from her home town and go to college on a swimming scholarship. So maybe it was the coach or a coach and a teacher? I can’t remember she told me when I was drunk.” Jasper finished. 

“That’s awful!” Peridot wanted to find that teacher and give them a piece of her mind. “Poor Lapis…” 

“Don’t do that. She hates pity it makes her mean.” Jasper rolled up her shorts to show a nasty bruise. “She kicked me when I told her I was sorry that it happened to her, said she didn’t want any of my sympathy or pity.” Jasper let her shorts fall back down. “She gets into these rages when she feels vulnerable, like she has to fight her way out of her own emotions.” 

Peridot was at a loss for words what could she say to her friend? Sorry? Sorry didn’t cover this. She was getting beaten by Lapis? “Jasper…are you okay?” 

“Yeah, she hits hard but I’m strong. I think that’s why she likes me. Not because we get along or agree on anything but because when she hits me I can take it.” Jasper looked down and flicked the taco crumbs off the bed. “Sometimes I like it…” 

Peridot understood that. The willingness to give everything to someone you care about. But could she do that? Be a punching bag for an emotionally unstable young woman? 

“I like the sex and the way she wants to dominate me. Everyone always wants me to be a butch top. But I like being a bottom, it’s simpler.” Jasper revealed too much information and Peridot made a disgusted sound in the back of her throat. “Too much information.” 

Jasper smirked, “Just warning you.” 

“I…I’m not going to sleep with Lapis. You too are together and besides…” She couldn’t think of her besides. 

“I’d share with you, Peri.” Jasper joked. “I don’t think you’d measure up anyway.” It was a joke but it still hurt. 

“I don’t want to share,” Peridot said and jealousy rose, “I want to win.” 

Jasper clasped her hands together suddenly making Peridot jump. “You’re on, squirt. Besides it’s not like Lapis and I are really dating she just calls me to fuck.” Jasper held out her hand. “We can both help her in our own ways. Mine are more fun.” Peridot took Jasper’s hand and shook it. “Fine, but I am going to do it the right way. No sex.” 

“Boring,” Jasper crushed her hand in their handshake before letting go. “I don’t know if you can help her. She’s not as innocent or as nice as you think. I let her get her frustrations out and it gives me a little something too, a mutual understanding.” 

Peridot worried about her friend as well but it had to be one at a time. She imagined helping Lapis Lazuli would also help Jasper Quartz. Two piece that interlocked together now in a mismatched paring. Peridot knew she could do it. She would take Rose’s advice and help Lapis by being her friend, but also setting boundaries. She could do this; she could make a difference here. That’s all she ever really wanted to do was make a difference and to be someone to somebody. 

“Do you have any more tacos?” Jasper asked quickly back to the topic that interested her much more. “Oh and that spicy sauce, that shit is the best!” 

Peridot rolled her eyes but got up to grab more tacos from the plastic bag they were delivered in. She grabbed the spicy green sauce Jasper all but drank. She handed over the goods to the woman on her bed. Jasper thanked her with a big grin and made quick work of getting the taco wrapper undone before pouring the sauce on. “I wonder how good you are at eating a taco?” Jasper lewdly stuck her tongue in between the taco shell. 

“Stop that right now!” Peridot shouted. 

“Careful, don’t want to get in trouble do you?” Jasper bit down on the taco. “Gotta hide those screams and shouts.”


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot breaks some promises.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah....smut. 
> 
> Be warned thar be smuts ahead. 
> 
> I have no self-control similar to my favorite character.

Peridot steeled herself for what she was about to do. It was easier to talk and think about rather than be faced with reality. Lapis hadn’t made a peep for days. Peridot memorized the swirls in the wooden door in front of her, the door that led to Lapis’ room. Peridot raised her hand up and froze before knocking. She didn’t have to do this she could walk away right now. Instead she sucked in a deep breath and knocked letting the air out of her lungs as she knocked again. There was shuffling on the other side of the door. Something fell over, a quiet curse. Lapis cracked the door open just a bit to see. Peridot stood there with a dorky smile, Lapis opened the door more. 

Peridot was shocked at the state Lapis was in. Dark circles under her eyes and small healing cuts on her face. The broken mirror, Peridot theorized. Lapis’ normally bright blue hair looked dull and grungy like she hadn’t taken a shower in days. The hand Lapis hand on the door frame was bandaged up. Lapis didn’t say anything she just watched Peridot with dark dead eyes. 

“Uh, hi?” Peridot tried. Lapis’ stare was blank and expressionless. “I came to see how you are and to um offer some help.” 

“I don’t need your help.” Lapis deadpanned. She went to close the door but Peridot stuck a socked foot in the way. “Please Lapis, let me talk to you.” 

Lapis made an annoyed sound but opened the door to let Peridot into her room. Her room was normally lit by soft warm lighting was plunged in darkness. Blankets were on the floor along with a pillow the bed looked unused and perfectly made. Lapis sat down on her beanbag chair and pulled her knees up to her chest she wrapped her arms around her legs and held herself like that. “What do you want, Peridot?” Her voice was rough and not musical and light in the slightest. 

Peridot stood awkwardly by the door unsure how far she should invade Lapis’ space. “I wanted to see how you are doing. I was worried about you.” 

“I’m fine.” Lapis dug daggers into Peridot with her eyes. “Just go.” 

Peridot wanted to do just that. Leave and remember the bright happy young woman who had tan skin. Not this pale depressed imposter. “No.” Peridot dug in her heels. “I’m not going to just leave you.” 

“You did before.” 

“I had to take time for myself, Lapis you really hurt me. I care about you a lot…I’ve never felt the way I feel about you for anyone. It felt like you just made a mockery of everything when you did…” Peridot stopped not wanting to dredge up the memories, memories of being pushed up against a wall and a hand groping her while teeth dug into her neck. “I’m sorry I had to leave.” 

“What do you want?” Lapis asked her voice low. “Everyone wants something from me.”

“I don’t want anything from you I just want to be there for you.” Peridot finished she closed the distance between them and offered her hand. “Let me be there for you.” 

Lapis finally gave in and placed her bandaged hand in Peridot’s pale hand. “Thanks for the Band-Aids…” 

“Yeah, no problem,” Peridot replied suddenly shy again and nervous but then she remembered she had a job to do. “No offence but you need a shower.” 

“I don’t like to be near water when I feel like this, it brings up bad memories.” Lapis tried to pull her hand back but Peridot held on. “I can sit in the bathroom with you…if you want.” 

Lapis let out a long deep sigh that rattled her, like exorcising a demon from within. She stood up with help from Peridot. Their eyes met and Peridot fell all over again. Why couldn’t she just let Lapis go? She had fallen for a girl that was nothing but trouble. Peridot decided she liked trouble if it meant Lapis. “Come on, do you need help picking out clothes.” Peridot eyed Lapis’ sweatpants and shirt that had stains on it. 

Lapis waved a hand over to her dresser and Peridot walked over opening the top drawer before quickly slamming it shut. Lapis’ panties and bras and that was a lot of lace. Peridot was more cautious opening the drawer below the first. She found shorts and shirts that looked suitable. She pulled out a pair of gray cotton shorts and a black tee shirt with a band name on it. “Let’s go.” Peridot led the charge into the bathroom. Lapis followed behind quiet and somber, like a ghost. 

Peridot went to the shower and turned it on making sure the water wasn’t too cold or too hot. When she turned around Lapis was looking at the wall where the mirror used to be. “I couldn’t stand looking at myself, not after what I did to you. You aren’t like Jasper you can’t handle things like that…” Lapis sounded like she was mostly talking to herself. “I knew you liked me and I took advantage of it at every turn.” 

“Why?” Peridot asked. Why would Lapis do that to her?

Lapis turned her back to Peridot. “I am so tired of being used by people I thought it was time I used people. If I’m the user no one can hurt me, I’d never let them.” Her hand was gripping onto her upper arm tightly. “I just want control, of everything. The people around me their emotions and what they feel for me, I want to manipulate that.” Her chipped blue nail polished fingers tore into her skin. “I hate that she made me like this. She turned me into some sort of unfeeling monster.” 

Peridot reached out and grabbed Lapis’ hand that was digging into her tan flesh. “You aren’t a monster. Everyone feels confused. We don’t have the right answers or the wrong ones. I can’t tell you what to do. But I can tell you what has helped me, I know what it’s like to be used by someone who you were supposed to trust.” 

Lapis turned and Peridot pulled her into a hug. Lapis was taller than her and buried her face into Peridot’s shoulder. “My own mother used me to give her every advantage she could get. I told her once that I was gay that I didn’t want to date boys she thought would look good on the arm of her daughter. She sat at her desk for a moment perplexed before saying ‘we can spin this. A gay daughter it’s very in right now.’ Every part of me that I thought was mine was taken and used as a tool for someone else.” She held Lapis close pulling her into a tight hug. “I overheard my mother once tell her assistant that she had never wanted a child but having one looked good. It made the press back off of her more. I was a goddamn publicity stunt.” 

Lapis’ arms wrapped around her waist and pulled her closer. “I want to tell you about me I really do, but I’m not ready. Peridot, it’s so hard to think about those times when I was a prisoner in my own skin in my own life. I promise one day I will tell you how much alike we really are.” 

Peridot didn’t realize she was crying until Lapis pulled away and plucked her glasses off to swipe at the tears that ran down her freckled cheeks. “Don’t cry, do not waste tears on the people who hurt you.” 

Maybe Lapis was right. It was time to stop crying about the fact her mother never loved her, never will love her. She used to cry herself to sleep as a child holding stuffed animals close to her chest wishing someone would hold her. For so long it felt like she had no options that her life meant living in someone else’s shadow. Now she had options, she had Lapis. 

“Okay,” Peridot choked down a sob welling up in the back of her throat. “No more crying.” 

Lapis gave a little half smile the corner of one side of her mouth pulled up just ever so slightly. If Peridot didn’t spend most of her time looking at Lapis’ lips she would’ve missed it. Lapis was troubled, but so was Peridot. They were two broken halves that happened to slot together. Peridot was breaking every rule she had made for herself as she lost her nerve in those deep blue eyes that could rip her down until she was nothing. Set boundaries, she looked at the shower than back at Lapis. Lapis leaned forward till their noses were touching. Don’t kiss. Lapis waited playing the passive partner in their dance. Peridot leaned forward capturing the lips in front on hers in a gentle kiss so unlike their first. Lapis didn’t know what to do with her hands so she let them hang at her sides. Peridot wrapped her arms around Lapis’ neck pulling her closer. She wanted to suck the life out of the other woman, or breathe life into her. It was getting clouded. Her thoughts were being singled down to just one. Touch, feel, taste. With one hand on the back of Lapis’ neck urging her forward she used the other to run through those dark blue tresses of hair. Lapis was the one who pulled back first panting for breath but Peridot wanted more she needed more. It was freeing to toss her past behind her with such simple words. Don’t waste your tears. 

“That shower…” Peridot’s voice was husk and she had never considered herself attractive but the way Lapis looked at her with glazed over eyes she knew the other woman was hooked. 

Lapis didn’t need any more incentives. She slipped her shirt off revealing an old sports bra with worn holes on the side. The blue haired woman blushed. “I normally…um…” Lapis was for once at a loss for words. “I promise this isn’t what I normally wear.” 

Peridot wouldn’t admit she had seen Lapis’ impressive collection of lace undergarments. This moment it felt so innocent and she felt for once she had the upper hand on the other woman. Lapis took her bra off next toss it to the floor. Peridot had never seen another woman naked, well she did sort of once. The first time they met. Lapis was gorgeous; her chest was admittedly larger and fuller than Peridot’s. Her dark brown nipples pebbled in the cold bathroom air. Thoughts Peridot couldn’t think of in her wildest dreams were coming forth. She wanted to taste Lapis, to run her tongue over a nipple and suck it into her mouth. Lapis hesitated for a moment before moving on to removing her sweatpants. 

It was Peridot’s turn to blush now. Lapis wasn’t wearing any underwear and Peridot saw it all. Lapis was shaved clean down there with nothing hiding her sex. Lapis looked at her expectantly. 

“I’ve never…” Peridot didn’t know how to say she’d never been naked in front of anyone before. Or that she didn’t think her body measured up to Lapis’ toned form. 

“Do you want me to help?” Lapis asked, “I want you to lead for you to decide what you want. I won’t take anything from you that you aren’t willing to give.” 

Peridot couldn’t find the words so she nodded but Lapis still hesitated until she spoke. “Yes.” 

Lapis approached she leaned in to kiss Peridot gently with a calm heat behind it. Her hands skimmed the bottom of Peridot’s shirt. She pulled it up slowly while they kissed before breaking the kiss and pulling the shirt off the blonde. Peridot wanted to bring her hands up the hide her chest even though her bra was still on she felt exposed. Instead she tangled her fingers with Lapis’ and they kissed again this time Peridot slipped her tongue into Lapis’ mouth. It was so warm, the feeling of a slick tongue sliding against her own was exquisite. Lapis’ hands left hers and went to the clasp on the back of her green polka dot bra. She unhooked it with one hand and used the other to slide the bra away to reveal Peridot’s breasts. 

Peridot was embarrassed; she didn’t look nearly as good as Lapis. She had a little bit of pudge on her stomach where Lapis’ was flat. Her breasts were smaller were Lapis had full ones. Peridot was ready to make an excuse as to why her body was as good as Lapis’ when Lapis spoke first. “You’re stunning.” 

Peridot wanted to laugh at that clearly Lazuli must be lying but Lapis leaned down and maintained eye contact as she kissed the area in between Peridot’s breasts. “Let’s get in the shower.” Lapis pulled away to slip into the shower. Leaving the rest of undressing to Peridot, the blonde began unbuckling her shorts. She struggled with the button and cursed her fumbling fingers. She finally managed to get the shorts off and then she hooked her thumbs into her dark green boxer briefs. She let them slide down her legs not sure if Lapis was watching. She took her glasses off last setting them down on the counter. 

She broke so many rules she set for herself. Don’t have sex. Peridot joined Lapis in the shower and the other woman was letting the water run through her hair and down her breasts. Peridot followed the water droplets to where they fell down Lapis’ smooth sex and down her tan thighs. She had never been as thirsty as she felt now, she was positively parched and wanted to drink the water that fell down Lapis’ body. Lapis smirked at her and her eyes ran down Peridot’s body excruciatingly slow. Lapis pulled her bottom lips between her teeth when she her eyes fell down to Peridot’s sex. Peridot had the sudden urge to close her legs tight but Lapis looked to her for guidance. 

“I don’t know what to do.” Peridot finally said. Lapis let out a small giggle at that. She closed the distance between them and her slick body rubbed against Peridot’s in all the right ways. She took Peridot’s right hand and brought it up to her breast. “Do you know what to do with these?” Lapis asked. 

Peridot’s palm rubbed against the stiff peak of Lapis’ nipple. The slight friction made Lapis gasp lightly. Peridot experimented by pressing slightly harder then she slid her hand down capturing the nipple between two fingers. She gave a light tweak of the nipple curious to how Lapis would respond. She didn’t expect the soft moan that escaped the blue haired woman’s lips. She still wanted to know what it would feel like to slip Lapis’ nipple into her mouth. She leaned forward and pressed her lips to the pebbled skin of the dark brown nipple before sucking it in. Lapis’ hands tangled themselves in her hair. It must’ve felt good. Peridot sucked harder on the nipple earning another moan. She flicked her tongue across the skin the sounds Lapis made were music to her ears. She had never heard such an enchanting sound. Her teeth accidently scrapped against Lapis’ sensitive skin as she tried to suck further. “Ow.” Lapis cried out but she didn’t push Peridot away or scold. Peridot apologized with a swipe of her tongue. When she finally pulled away she was breathing heavily. She wanted to taste more to feel more. She ran her hand over the other nipple, waiting for further instructions. 

“Have you ever masturbated?” The question made Peridot almost fall backwards in the shower but Lapis caught her. 

“What?! Why?” Peridot sputtered. 

“I just wanted to know. If you had it makes the next part easier.” Lapis replied and Peridot understood where this was going next. Her fingers touching Lapis there? Her head started swimming and she felt a little faint. Lapis took her right hand and pulled on her pointer finger. “Start with one first.” 

It’s going to go there? Peridot was shaking slightly now. Her fingers were going to be inside Lapis’ most intimate parts. It was too much Peridot panicked slightly. “I…I” What if she hurt Lapis?

Lapis brought the finger to her mouth and sucked it into her mouth running her tongue across Peridot’s digit. Lapis never broke eye contact even as she popped the finger out of her mouth. “You won’t hurt me, it doesn’t hurt.” 

Lapis was leading her finger down to its desired destination. “Just don’t scratch.” Lapis warned. Lapis held her hand as she brought it down to her slick outer lips. Lapis led Peridot through the warm folds showing Peridot how to gather up the wetness there on her finger before moving to slip into Lapis. Lapis let go of Peridot’s hand and waited letting the other woman decide. 

The tip of Peridot’s finger was already pressing against Lapis’ hot soaking entrance. The heat was intoxicating and she wondered how something could be so warm and wet at the same time. She slowly slid her fingertip in pushing past the tight wall of muscle that tried to resist. Peridot persisted slipping further inside until she couldn’t go any further. Her finger was all the way in and Lapis let out a low moan of pleasure. 

“Now,” Lapis was panting slightly, “In and out. Add another finger when you feel comfortable.” 

Peridot moved at a snail’s pace pulling her finger out before gliding back through silken folds. She quickened her pace once she had a rhythm set and she focused on Lapis’ face. Her forehead wrinkled slightly as she threw her head back in ecstasy. Peridot felt comfortable with the rhythm of in and out so on the next push in she added another finger this time going faster and deeper until her hand began to ache. Lapis’ moans were more frequent and her hips thrust forward to meet Peridot’s fingers. Her legs wobbled. Peridot felt a slight ripple inside Lapis as she thrust her fingers in. She didn’t question it, she was too caught up in the way Lapis looked. “Fuck, Peridot. I…I’m…” Lapis didn’t finish before she let out an ear shattering moan. The tight walls around Peridot’s fingers flexed around her fingers squeezing them tight before letting them go and then back to the tight squeeze. But Lapis didn’t ask her to stop so Peridot kept the motions moving as deep as she could. When Lapis came down from her high she grabbed Peridot’s wrist her bandaged soaked through with water. “I’m sensitive after…” 

“After what?” Peridot asked innocently. 

Lapis laughed and touched her forehead to Peridot’s, “After an orgasm.” 

Peridot’s face flushed and she wasn’t sure if she should pull her fingers out yet. So she went slow and waited to see how Lapis reacted. Lapis let out a low sigh when Peridot’s fingers slipped out with a slick pop. “Was I good?” 

Lapis leaned forward to kiss Peridot on the forehead, “Very good. Do you want me to touch you?” 

Peridot wasn’t sure she was ready so she didn’t answer right away before she shrugged. “I’m not sure.” 

Lapis turned around to face the shower head and Peridot could see the full tattoo on Lapis’ back. It was a pair of wings that spread out over her shoulder blades. Peridot reached out to run her fingers across the lines. Lapis shivered but relaxed as Peridot moved over her shoulder blades feeling the way her skin was ever so slightly raised where the ink had penetrated her skin. Peridot broke every rule she had made for herself when dealing with Lapis Lazuli. She promised herself she wouldn’t do the exact things she did. But it was freeing and liberating, it felt like no secrets between them. Peridot stepped forward to press into Lapis’ back she wrapped her arms around the taller woman’s hips and kissed her shoulder blade. She wanted to say something but even she had enough self-control not to say those four words. Not yet.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Peridot's turn for some fun. 
> 
> Smut ahead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well now it's just smut city. :P 
> 
> I just wanted to add some sweetness to the story. Coming up will probably not have as much smut. 
> 
> I am not sure if I will be able to update over the weekend. My lovely students got me sick yesterday and it hit me hard today. Awesome strepthroat! :/ Wanted to make sure there was at least one update for now. 
> 
> Enjoy and please leave any comments or questions below. Thank you for taking the time to read and of course sticking through this far into the story. 
> 
> -Bree

Peridot toweled off her hair but stopped when Lapis stepped out of the shower. Beads of water clung to her skin, tantalizing. Lapis grinned before grabbing her blue towel to dry off. Peridot realized she was staring and decided to busy herself by wrapping her towel around herself and grabbing her glasses to put on. If Lapis looked this good slightly blurry then she’d look amazing once Peridot put her glasses on. The bandages on Lapis’ hand were soaked and hanging off limply. Peridot went to the counter where more Band-Aids were. “Let me see you hand.” 

Lapis didn’t argue and held her right hand out. Peridot took off the soggy bandages and then assessed the damage. Fine cuts to large cuts decorated Lapis’ tan skin. Her knuckles were the worst with deep gashes in-between them. Peridot reached for the anti-septic ointment and began gingerly applying it. Lapis didn’t wince or even make a sound she just watched with a faraway gaze. Peridot set to work sticking Band-Aids and gauze over the cuts. Once she was satisfied with her work she brought Lapis’ hand to her lips and placed kisses over her knuckles and hand. She turned Lapis’ hand over to kiss her palm. She let go but Lapis grabbed her hand holding tight. 

“Stay with me, tonight.” Lapis asked, “I don’t want to be alone.” 

Peridot nodded and not a second thought about it went through her mind as Lapis led her back to her room. Lapis let the towel she was holding to her naked form drop to the floor and set about making up the blankets on the floor. Lapis set two pillows down and sheets before dragging her comforter down too. A comfortable nest for them to lay down on. Peridot may have just had her fingers buried deep into Lapis but seeing the other woman walk around naked without an ounce of shame made a deep blush cover her cheeks. It didn’t go unnoticed by Lapis who began to swing her hips as she set to work making a bed for them on the floor. Peridot still held the green towel tight against her body. She wasn’t as bold as Lapis. Once Lapis finished she sat down on her makeshift bed and patted the spot next to her. 

Peridot sat down next to Lapis. Lapis offered her the comforter and Peridot happily slipped under the covers and tossed the towel aside. Lapis slid down next to her on the outside of the comforter laying on her stomach watching her with those sharp eyes. Lapis reached out and stroked Peridot’s cheek, “I love your freckles.” Lapis leaned forward and they were kissing again but it was soft and romantic. Not hurried and heated. 

When Lapis pulled away she slid Peridot’s glasses off and set them aside next to their makeshift bed. “You’re eyes are such a magnificent shade of green.” Peridot blushed, why was Lapis complimenting her? Lapis rolled over onto her back and spread her arms out and motioned for Peridot to cuddle into her. Peridot was hesitant before snuggling close to Lapis’ body. “Do you want some blanket?” Peridot asked. She held the comforter up so Lapis could slip in and their naked bodies pressed together. 

Peridot rested her head on Lapis’ naked breast nuzzling into the soft flesh. Lapis kept one arm wrapped around her waist keeping Peridot close and with the other she ran her fingers through damp blonde locks. “Peridot…” Lapis mumbled. “Hm?” Peridot all but moaned with the feeling of fingers massaging her scalp. “Are you afraid of me?” 

Peridot looked up and Lapis was back in that dark place. It was something she was getting used to seeing. Lapis’ eyes were darker and her expression went blank. Peridot could see the walls going up around her when this happened. She was preparing for rejection, for hurt. “No, I’m not scared of you.” Peridot replied and the darkness faded. Lapis’ expression relaxed and the hold she had on Peridot’s waist tightened. “That…it means a lot.” 

Peridot thought back to the way she had touched Lapis and she felt so warm like a fire building in her belly then pooling lower. Somewhere she tried her best to just ignore. But now she rubbed her thighs together to relieve the tension that knotted in her gut. Lapis’ hand on her waist brushed across her hipbone with light teasing touches. “I won’t do anything you don’t ask for or want.” Lapis assured her. But Peridot wanted it. She wanted to feel like Lapis did in the shower. Head thrown back in feverish euphoria, she wanted to make those sounds for Lapis to hear and to scream her name out when she came down from that high. 

“Does it hurt?” Peridot asked. She had never looked into sex, it just wasn’t on her radar but she had overheard conversations. Girls talking about first times hurting and there being blood. Peridot didn’t want to experience any pain, Lapis surely didn’t. “Do you really bleed?” 

Lapis thought for a moment she looked up at the ceiling where plastic glow stars where placed. “At first it might but then it will feel good. If it hurts you can tell me to stop. Bleeding is just a rumor I’ve never known someone to. That’s if you even want to have sex…” 

Peridot weighed her options. It was a big step to have someone touching her seeing where no one had before. But it felt like the right thing to do. She felt like she needed Lapis to take her there to lead her on that journey. “I want to, I trust you.” 

Lapis pulled away from Peridot and sat up. She turned to face Peridot laying on her side she reached under the comforter to stroke Peridot’s collarbone. Before reaching higher to turn Peridot’s face towards her to capture her lips in a smoldering kiss that made Peridot melt. Lapis was slow and her hand stroked Peridot’s cheek as they kissed then slid down lower brushing against her collar bone. A slightly chilled hand touched her breast and kneading the flesh there Peridot arched her back to press further into the hand that rubbed at such a sensitive spot on her body. Lapis slipped her tongue into Peridot’s awaiting mouth while her fingers toyed with Peridot’s pert pink nipple. She didn’t pinch or pull like Peridot had done but rolled the sensitive nipple around between two fingers before flicking it with the pad of her thumb. Peridot realized she had been moaning into Lapis’ mouth and she felt embarrassed all over again. 

Lapis pulled back and sat up she slid the comforter down till it pooled around Peridot’s hips. The blue haired woman hovered over her before kissing her way down Peridot’s pale neck. Nibbling on her freckled shoulder Lapis continued her path down to Peridot’s other nipple she didn’t suck it into her mouth right away instead she placed a kiss on the very top of the hard pebbled pink skin. Peridot brought a hand to her own mouth to muffle her squeal. Lapis used her other hand to touch and rub Peridot nipple, a master of multitasking. When her nipple was sucked on Peridot’s toes curled and she kicked her feet. “Fuck…” The words escaped her lips and she tangled her hands in Lapis’ dark blue hair. Pressing Lapis down further, she never wanted those lips to leave her. 

Lapis was experienced and knew how to pleasure the body beneath her. She moved away from the nipple she had just been suckling on and went to the next wasting no time popping it into her mouth and she gently ran her teeth over the skin scratching the sensitive bud. Peridot couldn’t think for once in her life her mind was blank and all she could focus on was the feeling of Lapis sucking on her nipple the way hands moved down her ribs creating goosebumps in their wake. Lapis leaned forward letting go of Peridot’s nipple before kissing her again her hand traveled further down. Underneath the blanket to the soft blonde curls that covered Peridot’s sex. Lapis’ fingers toyed with the hair brushing through the curls before moving lower. Lapis’ thumb rubbed across something that made stars flash behind Peridot’s eyes and her hips buck. What was that? 

Lapis couldn’t stifle her laugh as she did it again, “Oh Peri. You’ve been neglecting your body.” Lapis’ thumb flicked across that sensitive button again and Peridot could feel wetness on her inner thighs. “Lapis…please.” 

“Whatever you want,” Lapis replied. Lapis’ fingers moved down swiping through the wetness gracing Peridot’s folds. Peridot covered her face with her arms but spread her legs apart to give Lapis further access. A single finger toyed with her entrance playing with the wetness that had gathered. “I’ll go slowly,” Lapis assured her. 

The finger toying at her entrance pushed past her outer lips. Peridot held her breath as Lapis pushed a single finger into her tight never before used entrance. “You’re so wet for me, Peri.” Lapis’ voice was low and dripped with passion. The finger slipped in further and with the wetness glided in with little pain. Lapis was waiting before she pushed on her free hand grabbed Peridot’s arm uncovering her face. “Hold my hand,” Lapis asked. Peridot gripped Lapis’ hand tight. 

Lapis pushed forward and Peridot bit down on her lip in pain but the pain gave way to pleasure as a thumb brushed across the sensitive bud of nerves above her entrance. “You’re okay, you are doing great,” words of encouragement. Peridot still held on to Lapis’ free hand and she was amazed the woman above her could create so much pleasure with just one hand. Lapis wiggled the finger that was plunged deep inside Peridot. Lapis had longer fingers and they had reach where Peridot’s were short. Lapis pulled back and thrust forward creating a rhythm that made Peridot’s hips rock. “I’m going to add another finger…” Lapis did as promised and Peridot felt that stretch again but it was a soothing ache that ran through her up her spine making her dizzy with pleasure. Lapis quickened her pace and her thumb swiped across the pointed nub that caused so much pleasure. Peridot held onto Lapis’ hand tighter and dug her nails into the skin there. Something was building like a tea kettle right before it was about to steam and scream. She felt like that tea kettle and when she hit boiling she screamed.

“Lapis!” She cried out and her body was wracked with pleasure that seared her white hot her hips lost control and she was thrusting down further onto Lapis’ fingers. Lapis helped her ride out her orgasm. “Shush, it’s okay.” Lapis pressed her thumb down on that nub making more stars flash behind Peridot’s vision. “Ride it out.” 

Peridot was panting by the time her body relaxed. Lapis slid her fingers out of Peridot and brought them up to her face. She sucked in the fingers into her mouth and hummed in delight. It was too much for Peridot and she hid under the pillow her head was resting on. Lapis giggled and pulled the pillow away. “It’s okay, you taste good.” 

“That’s embarrassing to say…” Peridot replied. “Come here.” Lapis laid back down on the makeshift bed on her back. She pulled at Peridot until she blonde was resting on top of her. 

“I’m too heavy…” Peridot tried to warn. 

“Stop, you aren’t.” Lapis ran her hands down Peridot’s back and wrapped them up in the comforter. Peridot gave in and nuzzled into Lapis’ neck and their legs tangled together. Peridot fell asleep like that with Lapis rubbing soothing circles into her back. Holding her tight.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot wakes up where she has always wanted to be, in someone's arms. Lapis' arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now I'm just pumping the smut out. I need to regain control here. Must be the cold medicine! 
> 
> As always please comment if you have any concerns or questions. I love reading your thoughts. 
> 
> Thank you, Bree

Peridot awoke to the feeling of fingers trailing through her blonde hair. A song was being hummed with a light melody and light filtered in from the blinds on the window. A warm body rested under her own with one arm on her lower back that kept drifting lower to squeeze the roundness of her butt cheek. Lapis’ dark blue eyes were half lidded and she seemed so peaceful in this moment, hands exploring her lover. Peridot didn’t want to interrupt but she was never one for sitting still. “Good morning…” Peridot whispered, not wanting to disturb the moment too much. 

“Mmm, you’re finally up.” Lapis murmured. The hand that was squeezing Peridot’s ass moved up to run along her spine. “You sleep so peacefully, but you do drool.” Peridot looked down at the breast she had been using as a pillow and sure enough and pool of drool was left in her wake. 

“Sorry,” how embarrassing. Lapis didn’t seem to really mind. She tucked a stray blonde hair behind Peridot’s ear before rubbing the tips of Peridot’s ears. Peridot hid her face it felt so good the fingers toying with her ear. “Are your ears sensitive?” Lapis asked. Yes? No? Peridot didn’t know, Lapis was right when she said Peridot was neglecting her body. She didn’t know what parts of her felt the best when touched or what hurt. “I don’t know, I think so?” 

“We can learn together,” Lapis breathed softly. Her fingers drifted away from Peridot’s ear and curved around her jaw bring the blonde forward for a tender kiss. “Whatever you want, I want to provide it.” 

Peridot was so content in this moment lying on top of Lapis with the blue haired woman rubbing her back while rubbing a thumb over her lips. Her legs tangled in Lapis’ long ones and where their skin made contact created deep warmth in other places. But Peridot remembered her giant buff friend in the back of her mind, that’s right what about Jasper? She could not ask and leave the moment pure and sweet. Or she could get answers. She didn’t want to be the other woman. She wanted Lapis to herself completely. 

She looked up into Lapis’ deep blue eyes that were lighter in the center by her pupils she could get lost in those eyes. Lapis’ pouty lips were pulled into a content lazy smile as one hand explored Peridot’s back and the other the edges of her face. “Lapis…” Peridot began. “What about Jasper? You too are together after all, and I don’t want this to have been just the one time.” Peridot looked down now not willing to see Lapis until an answer was had. 

“She didn’t tell you?” Lapis tipped Peridot’s chin upwards so they were looking at one another. “Jasper broke up with me when she found out what I did…she stormed in here and said we were done and if I ever touched you without consent again she’d break the hand that did it.” Lapis shrugged as she said it. “She’s very protective of you, she then went on to tell me I needed help.” 

“She lied to me? Jasper tricked me? The stupid meathead actually pulled one over on me?” Peridot sat up shocked at what Jasper had so slyly done. She had set the two of them up to get together. Jasper had no intentions of dating Lapis after what she had done, Jasper tricked her into making the first move that she would’ve never done otherwise. “That…that…” Peridot was at a loss for words as she sat straddling Lapis. “The clod!” Peridot decided. 

“What?” Lapis asked. Her hands went to Peridot’s hips keeping the other woman where she was. Peridot wanted to get up and run to Jasper’s room and pound on her door then on her face. “She got one over on me.” Peridot finally sighed in resignation. Jasper was only looking out for her. “It’s fine.” Peridot looked down at the naked woman beneath her. Down to the piece of jewelry that pierced Lapis’ navel. She couldn’t resist and with clumsy fingers she ran her hands over Lapis’ smooth stomach before touching the cool metal there. “Did it hurt?” 

“Not really,” Lapis sighed peacefully as Peridot played with the shiny jewelry that ended with a blue teardrop shaped gem. Peridot moved on and touched Lapis’ hip bones, “What are we, Lapis?” Peridot asked as she ran her smooth fingers over tan skin. Lapis arched her back and Peridot scooted down till her butt rested on the tops of Lapis’ thighs right above her knees. It gave her access to much more. Peridot decided to search Lapis to see if she too had that special spot. Peridot spread Lapis lips apart with two fingers and looked down to see a hard bud with a thin skin covering it. What was it? Was that the button Lapis pressed that made her see stars? 

“Lapis…tell me. What are we?” She asked again. With her other hand she pressed two fingers onto that bud and rubbed upwards the thin skin pealing back to reveal a flush nub of skin. Lapis gasped and thrust her hips forward as Peridot toyed with that sensitive bud. “What do you want us to be?” Lapis asked her hands went up to her breasts and she played with herself, fingers rolling around her own hard nipples flicking the pebbled brown skin. “I don’t know. I want to be with you. Just you and I want you to be with me just me.” Peridot thought that nub of skin might taste good if she sucked it into her mouth so she moved down and off of Lapis. She positioned herself between the blue haired woman’s thighs. Lapis spread her legs and Peridot eyed the sensitive nerve. 

“Ask me what you want to ask, Peri.” Lapis moaned she couldn’t contain herself and kept one hand on her breast and the other she knotted it Peridot’s hair. 

“Ahem,” Peridot coughed she gave an experimental lick to the nerve of flesh and Lapis screamed an obscenity. She looked up into Lapis’ eyes, “Lapis, will you go out with me?” 

“Duh,” Lapis replied breathy in her response. “Now, please fuck me.” 

Peridot was happy to oblige but first she had a question. “What is this?” She asked placing a kiss on that nub of flesh. Lapis began to laugh the moment lost and Peridot frowned. “I’m serious, Lazuli. What is it?” Lapis couldn’t answer she was too busy laughing one hand on her stomach and the other covered her mouth trying to hide the laughter. 

Peridot got frustrated with her girlfriend. Wait…that’s right Lapis is her girlfriend now. The frustration was lost and so Peridot decided instead to get even. “I guess if it’s not important I’ll just leave it alone.” 

“No! Wait…” The laughter died down into small fits of giggles. Lapis sat up to look at Peridot. “It’s a clit. It’s the female pleasure center. It feels amazing when you touch it.” Lapis ruffled Peridot’s messy blonde hair in a fond loving way. “Didn’t you like it when I touched yours?” Peridot’s face flushed and she decided to hide her embarrassment the best way she knew how and buried her face in-between Lapis’ legs. She used her tongue to toy with this clit Lapis spoke of. She pressed hard into that bundle of nerves and Lapis put both of her hands in Peridot’s hair and pushed her down further. Peridot sucked in the bundle of nerves like she had done with Lapis’ nipples it worked the same way but now Lapis’ thighs were squeezing either side of her head and the blue haired woman was moaning her name over and over. “Peridot, fuck, Peridot!” 

Peridot thought if she could get her hand around Lapis’ leg then she could put a finger in her girlfriend to heighten the pleasure. She managed to snake a hand around Lapis’ leg and pressed the tip of her finger to Lapis’ hot soaking entrance. Copious amounts of fluids met her finger as she slid it through the inviting heat Lapis dug her nails into Peridot’s scalp. It didn’t hurt instead it made something roar to life within her. Peridot sucked hard on Lapis’ clit she wanted her girlfriend to cum she wanted to be the one to do it. It was hard to multitask like this but she found a rhythm suck then push her finger in, breath then slide her finger out, then repeat. After just a few minutes Lapis was screaming her name at the top of her lungs. “Peri!” Lapis finished in one last scream. Her thighs tightened around Peridot’s head and her clit pulsed in Peridot’s mouth. Her inner walls squeezed onto Peridot’s finger urging it further in. 

As Lapis came down from her high she released her death hold on Peridot’s hair and then eased her thighs back open. Peridot sat back on her heels and took in deep breaths. That was hard work and her hand was shaking from the strain. Lapis grabbed Peridot by the back of the neck and pulled her into a heated kiss sucking on her tongue. Trying to marinate in her own flavor. Peridot decided, that Lapis tasted good, slightly salty like the ocean. When Lapis let her go Peridot almost fell backwards on but Lapis caught her and dragged her back down on top of her. 

Lapis wrapped her arms around Peridot, “My girlfriend is really good at eating me out.” Lapis said and she watched for Peridot’s reaction. Know the other woman would flush with color up to her ears and burry her face in-between Lapis’ breasts. 

“You’re mortifying, Lazuli.” Peridot mumbled from her spot between Lapis’ supple breasts. “I’m going to die of shock.”


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot and Lapis are forced to attend a prior engagement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And you thought it would be all smut and fluff from here....guess again
> 
> Thank you for reading and please leave any comments or questions below. Reading and responding to them gives me life :)

After Peridot got dressed she told Lapis she’d be right back. First she had to see Jasper. Peridot walked across the hall to Jasper’s door and knocked when she got no answer she knocked louder. Still nothing, she kicked the door. Finally Jasper answered she was annoyed, “Peridot why are you kicking my door?” Jasper cracked her knuckles, “I think you are forgetting who you are dealing with.” 

“Stop with the tough guy act,” Peridot huffed. “I wanted to thank you.” Peridot looked the other way. “Thank you for helping me with Lapis.” 

“So it worked?” Jasper asked she put her hand out for a high five. Peridot went to meet it but Jasper pulled her hand back, “Too slow, twerp.” 

“You are insufferable!” Peridot yelled at her stomping her socked feet. “I try to thank you and you just...ugh!” 

“My only question for you is did you fuck her? You’ve got that look like you got some.” Jasper brought her fingers to her lips making a V and sticking her tongue out. “There were a few noise complaints last night and this morning. Perl was too embarrassed about what they were about to say anything.” 

Peridot turned bright red, “Clod…you are a clod!” Peridot turned on her heels and ran back to the safety of Lapis’ room. So everyone knew. Everyone in their dorm hall knew about her and Lapis and even worse they knew they had…had sex. Peridot decided she would never show her face again, she could take online classes and live in her room. Lapis was already dressed. A pair of worn jeans with holes in the knees and thighs, and a blue and white stripped tank top, she was stunning. Lapis smiled when she saw Peridot, “You’re back!” 

“Yes,” Peridot managed to say. Lapis’ grabbed her jacket from the back of her door where it hung. “I forgot to tell you, I have to go to this sports meeting today. Some high schoolers are coming today to check the school out. All of the sports teams have to be there.” Lapis frowned, “I wish I could spend all day here with you.” 

“Wait! That’s today?” Peridot asked. Shit! How could she forget? The engineering department was required to go as well to show off what an amazing program it was. Her professor said showing up was for a grade. “Looks like I’ll be joining you.” Peridot replied, “I am also required to go, for a grade.” 

“Well go get your shoes we have to be there soon,” Lapis was smiling again and Peridot realized she’d do anything to see that smile. “Yeah, of course.” Peridot ran over to her room to grab a pair of shoes. They would go together, in a sense their first outing as a couple. Peridot hurried trying to shove her shoes on as fast as she could and fumbled with the laces in her haste. This would be their first couple thing! Peridot was thrilled maybe this event today wouldn’t be so bad. 

*********************************************

It was that bad. Peridot’s engineering table was in the far corner of the ballroom while Lapis’ table was on the complete other side with the other sports teams. Miserable this was miserable. 

“Peridot Diamond, stop sulking!” Peridot looked up to see her Professor, Holly Blue Agate, Professor Agate head of the engineering department. “Stand up straight! We want students to see how happy you are to be here!”

I’m not happy to be here, I am being forced by you. But those words were not said. Professor Agate did not stand backtalk and was known for getting students kicked out of the program for it. So Peridot did her best to stand up straight and put on a fake smile. 

“You look like you’re going to be sick,” Carnelian said which recived a dirty look from Professor Agate. “That is enough, stand straight and look happy.” 

Peridot shot a dirty look to Carnelian who gave her an apologetic look in response. Peridot followed her Professor’s instructions and busied herself with watching Lapis. Lapis looked just as bored and was sitting at her table with one hand propping her head up. Her swim coach didn’t seem to mind and was busy talking to the baseball coach.   
“Students are coming in! Now smiles and remember your lines!” Professor agate demanded. 

A flood of high school students came in with different colored shirts marking which school they were from. She recognized the light pink color of one of Beach City’s high schools. She remembered seeing them when she was allowed to go around town with an escort. Students with Pink shirts and golden stars, she had always thought it was a strange logo. Students went to different tables and Peridot kept her eyes glued to Lapis. Lapis’ stood up to talk to a high school student. 

“Um, Peridot, they are coming to our table.” Carnelian said. Peridot looked up to see high school students approaching. She didn’t know what to say. She hardly talked to people her own age. How was she supposed to say something to those younger than her? “Take the lead, Carnelian.” Peridot replied. 

Carnelian took a hard swallow before smiling and pointing to the handy engineering major board Professor Agate had made. “Hi…we are engineering majors.” Carnelian froze and Peridot had to take over. “As you can see from this board we have a very advanced program including robotics. Our labs are top notch and unmatched by any other in the state.” Peridot adjusted her glasses sliding them further up her face. “We also have a bioengineering program which focuses on helping those who have lost a limb. With our technology we can create advanced prosthetics.” Peridot finished and Professor Agate was positively beaming with a big grin on her normally sour face. 

“Well done, Peridot! It is just as Miss Diamond said we are-“ But one of the high schoolers interrupted. “Diamond, as in the daughter of that billionaire in Beach City?” One of them asked. Professor Agate fumed she did not enjoy being interrupted, “It does not matter where someone comes from in my department. You must prove your worth through hard work. Now if there is a question about my program I will take it otherwise move on.” The high schooler who asked quickly walked away while Professor Agate went into a long winded speech about how amazing engineering was. 

Peridot was not the biggest fan of Professor Agate she was mean and had no patience but in this case it was to her advantage so she silently thanked her professor. Peridot went back to the most interesting thing at this event, Lapis. Lapis was back to sitting down and she was playing on her phone. Peridot wished she had that luxury but she could only imagine how Professor Agate would respond if she took her phone out.

A high school student and two adults approached Lapis’ table. One of the adults at least Peridot thought she was, the woman smaller in stature and had a smirk on her thin lips. The other woman was tall and larger than Jasper with blonde hair cut short. The high school girl between them had blonde hair so light it was white in color and deep blue green eyes. Lapis looked up to see who had approached the table next and her face changed from one of boredom to one of fear. Peridot had never see Lapis afraid before. The short woman was talking and Lapis was backing her chair up ready to run. Peridot took off, leaving her table and her Professor who started to yell at her. Lapis was ready to bolt when Peridot arrived to her table. 

“You see Lazuli you are easily replaced,” the short woman sneered in a British accent. “Who is this?” She asked when Peridot approached. 

“I am Peridot Diamond!” Peridot put that tone in her voice that her mother used to use. The one that had business men shaking, but this woman was no business man. She just laughed, “Am I supposed to care?” 

“Topaz, take care of this.” The woman waved to Peridot like she was just an annoying object. The large blonde woman approached with ginormous hands ready to grab Peridot. 

“Stop this! Leave her alone.” Lapis hissed she was standing now and her fists were balled up. “Do not touch her.” 

“Oh my, do you have feeling for this? This child?” The short woman exclaimed and then covered her mouth to stifle a laugh. “Lapis you have really lowered your standards. Topaz as you were.” 

Peridot put her arms in front of her face preparing for impact of large fists but they never came. “Sorry, I’m late. I forgot the event was today.” Peridot looked to see Jasper holding back the blonde woman who was taller than Jasper. “Don’t touch my friends bitch.” 

The short British woman made a sound of disgust, “So you are hiding behind a brute of your own. This won’t protect you, you thought you could get away from me, think again. Topaz, let’s go.” 

Topaz grunted and moved away from Jasper following the short woman. The high schooler however was still staring at Lapis. “Malachite, I said it is time to go!” The short woman shrilly shouted. The high schooler shot one last dirty look to Lapis before joining the other two women. 

“So that’s her.” Jasper said her hands on her hips. “Peridot, are you okay?”

Peridot didn’t care about herself she looked to Lapis who had started to cry. Professor Agate had caught up to them. “Peridot did you just start a fight?” Professor Agate was livid. “You lab privileges are suspended for a three weeks! Now get out of my sight!” Professor Agate stormed off. Peridot didn’t care about lab privileges either. Instead she approached Lapis with open arms for a hug. 

“D-don’t touch me!” Lapis pushed Peridot away making the smaller girl fall backwards onto Jasper. Lapis’ eyes were panicked and she bolted running out the front doors of the ballroom. Jasper helped right Peridot by steadying her with a hand. 

Lapis had just rejected her. Had just run away from her? Why, this morning they were still lying in bed naked they were together and now…now they were apart. “Come on we should go.” Jasper said she still had a hand on Peridot’s back. “She might have gone back to the dorms. I’ll call Amethyst and ask her to keep an eye out.” 

Peridot let herself be led out by Jasper but she still couldn’t fathom everything that had just happened. Who were those people how did they know Lapis? Why did Lapis push her away?


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone is looking for Lapis, when she returns things go from bad to worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has some non-con elements to it. Please do not read if it is triggering. Send me a message on tumblr and I can summarize for you. 
> 
> So yeah the shit hits the fan and Peridot makes some choices. 
> 
> As always thank you for reading and please leave any comments or questions below I look forward to reading them. :)

When Peridot returned to the dorms with Jasper, Lapis was nowhere to be found. Amethyst had even stood watch, well sat watch outside her door to see if Lapis had retuned but nothing. Pearl was driving around campus now in her minivan looking for Lapis. Garnet was making phone calls and checking in with friends to see if they had seen the blue haired woman. But still nothing, Peridot wanted to put up lost pet posters but for Lapis instead. Lost girlfriend please return to Peridot if found, maybe it was too soon for that. It had only been a few hours. But the way Lapis looked her eyes were wide and panicked and tears pricked the corners of her eyes. 

From what little information Jasper had on Lapis it seemed her girlfriend was impulsive when upset, destructive even. No one had seen her and Peridot was beyond worry at this point. “I’m going to ride around and see if I can find her.” Jasper offered. Peridot just nodded. She found her way into Lapis’ room sitting down in the navy blue beanbag chair. It calmed her to be in Lapis’ room with her smells and scents. With her presence even if she wasn’t here. Someone would find her they had to and she could do nothing but wait until Lapis decided to come home. Peridot picked up the book that was lying next to the bean bag chair. A poetry book, it wasn’t her style but she opened it up on a random page and began to read. 

Peridot had made it half way through the book when the door to Lapis’ room opened and the blue haired woman stepped in or more like wobbled in. In one hand Lapis held a bottle of something Peridot could recognize and the other hand she used to brace herself on the doorframe. She grinned when she saw Peridot, “Babe, what are you doing here?” Her words slurred and she almost fell as she stepped further into the room. “Were you waiting for me?” 

Peridot stood up abandoning the book in her lap and went to offer Lapis a steadying hand. It was promptly slapped away, “Don’t touch me!” Lapis was instantly on fire again and her eyes burned. “Don’t fucking touch me!” 

Peridot retracted her hand and brought it to her sides. She could see clearly now what Lapis was holding in her hand an almost completely drunken bottle of whiskey. “Lapis, I think you should lie down.” 

Lapis pushed past Peridot almost knocking the other woman over. “I think you don’t know what I need.” Her words were sharp like daggers. Peridot didn’t recognize this Lapis, she didn’t want to. Lapis sat down on the edge of her desk and took a long swig from the bottle of whiskey. “Lapis, please just stop.” Peridot pleaded with her. 

Lapis turned on her quick and tossed the bottle of whiskey across the room and it shattered against the wall behind Peridot. Peridot’s back was showered in the remaining whiskey and the backs of her legs were cut with some glass. Peridot wanted to cry out to scream and run away but she held firm. Lapis wasn’t going to scare her no matter how hard the other woman tried. “Just go!” Lapis cried out and she was back on her feet charging at Peridot. Lapis stopped just a few inches from Peridot and she could smell the alcohol on her breath. “I said go.” 

“I won’t leave you.” Peridot replied she wanted her voice to sound strong but it came out weak and mousy. Lapis raised a fine dark eye brow as if she had seen through Peridot’s façade. “You should run, go hide.” Lapis’ voice was dangerous. She was waiting for something for some move on Peridot’s part. Peridot stayed still and just watched Lapis the back of her legs stung from the glass that had cut her. Lapis reached out and Peridot couldn’t help but flinch. Long fingers trailed across her right cheek and down her chin before gripping her chin tight. Lapis leaned forward and placed a bruising kiss to Peridot’s lips. It was just like before the first time they kissed the drunken mistake it was. 

Lapis pulled back and her blue eyes were dark and hallow she wasn’t even in this moment, Peridot realized. “Why don’t we go to bed?” Peridot suggested. “It will make you feel better.” 

Lapis eyed the blankets and pillows on the floor from the night before. Her features turned predatory and the grip she had on Peridot’s chin tightened. “That is a good idea. Take your clothes off.” The words were demanding leaving no room for options. 

“Lapis, you’re drunk. Just stop.” Peridot replied before nails dug into her skin silencing her. “Shut up, do what I want or I will find someone else to fuck.” Lapis’ voice turned sour and her lips pulled into a sneer. “I could call Jasper she never turned me down. Do you think you really have the option to turn me down? Someone like you?” 

The words stung worse than the glass in her leg it burned even more than the nails digging into her chin. Peridot wanted to badly to fight back to leave Lapis to her own devices. That wasn’t the right thing to do. “Fine.” She was defeated, resigned. 

Lapis grinned like the cat that finally caught the mouse. Peridot locked eyes with Lapis and decided if she was going to go through this she wanted Lapis to remember the look on her face. Peridot slipped her shirt up and off tossing it aside before moving on to her bra. She wasted no time and Lapis backed away for just a moment to watch to take it all in. Working her shorts off proved harder and she had to be careful as she slid them down her legs so they wouldn’t catch on the backs of her legs. She hissed in pain as her shorts caught on a piece of glass dragging it across the back of her leg. 

Lapis was on her in an instant, her body language different this time. “Oh…oh no…” Small voice like a child. Lapis kneeled down in front of Peridot on shaky legs and with cold hands on Peridot’s hips turned the shorter woman around. Lapis sucked in a breath at what she saw. “Lay down on your stomach, on the bed.” 

Lapis’ entire demeanor changed yet again. Why? What made her stop her assault and turn to care giver? Peridot decided to see where this went and lay down on the blankets. Peridot heard Lapis leave the room and come back she sat down next to Peridot on the makeshift bed. “She used to hurt me like this…” Lapis’ voice was far away as if reliving a memory. “This might hurt,” Lapis warned and Peridot was prepared for the feeling of glass being pulled from the back of her leg. Peridot cried out and Lapis placed one hand comfortingly on her back rubbing circles in between her shoulder blades. “There is only a little more, Mal.” Lapis whispered softly. 

Peridot didn’t question Lapis aloud but her mind was running a mile a minute. Who was Mal? Was that one of Lapis’ exes? So much about the blue haired woman was a mystery. More glass was pulled and Peridot held onto the pillow in front of her and muffled her cries into it. “All done with that part, now to clean it, she’ll just get mad if it’s infected.” Lapis squeezed some antiseptic cream into a gauze pad before rubbing it into the wounds. Peridot couldn’t imagine having glass pulled out of her skin could get worse but the burn from the cream did it. It stung and ached and made her kick her legs into the floor making Lapis hold her leg down as she worked. 

“We are almost there, I have to hurry. If she comes back and sees me helping you I’ll get punished next.” Lapis whispered she quickly applied bandages to Peridot’s skin. Once she was happy with her work she cleaned her mess up tossing it into the wastebasket near her desk. Lapis sat back down next to Peridot. “I promised to protect you. I meant it.” Lapis laid down next to Peridot and her eyes looked into Peridot’s green ones. She took Peridot’s hand. “Malachite, I won’t let her hurt you again.” 

Malachite? Why was that name so familiar? Peridot couldn’t think so much was coming at her at once. First Lapis came in as an angry drunk then she changed to a loving mother like character, what is happening? Peridot watched as Lapis closed her eyes and soon she was fast asleep snoring loudly. There were too many questions and not nearly enough answers. Who could she really ask about it all? Then it hit her like a train. That short British woman she was the reason this all happened. She had the answers. Peridot just needed to figure out how to get to her. The high schoolers and their teachers were here for a few more days to get the full college experience before returning to their homes. That woman was on campus she had to be. 

Peridot watched the steady rise of Lapis’ chest. “What did that woman do to you?” She asked her voice barely above a whisper. Pearl would know where the high schoolers and teachers were staying. Peridot would get to the bottom of this one way or another. She couldn’t watch Lapis suffer another minute.


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot goes looking for answers. She doesn't like what she finds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning this has some darker tones and a lit hint of torture. 
> 
> It gets dark from here on out. I should be updating with another chapter later today or tomorrow. (It is going to be a real treat.) We get some insight from a certain blue haired woman. :P 
> 
> As always thank you for reading and I am sorry it took so long for an update. I had a bad day on Friday and didn't feel like writing. So here you guys go. 
> 
> Please leave any comments or questions below.

Peridot waited until Lapis was fast asleep before she got up and redressed herself. Before she left Lapis’ room she placed a kiss on her cheek. “I’ll be back soon.” She whispered to her sleeping girlfriend who just snored lightly in response. It was late at least three in the morning which meant she’d have to do the forbidden. She’d have to wake Pearl up before her normal waking hours of five am. Peridot quietly padded down the hall of her dorm till she reached the end where Pearl’s room rested. She took swallowed hard forcing her nerves down and knocked. The first knock received no reply so she tried again this time louder. Still nothing, then finally she hit the door with all her might thinking she might have bruised her knuckles in the process. 

The door cracked open slightly and Amethyst poked her head out, “Dude, it’s like 2am.” Amethyst rubbed sleep out of her eyes. She was just wearing a blanket wrapped around her naked form leaving nothing to the imagination. Peridot looked up to preserve Amethyst’s decency. “Actually it is 3:15, I need to speak to Pearl.” 

Amethyst shook her head, “Oh man she’s going to be pissed. Give me a sec.” Amethyst closed the door and Peridot waited outside. This was taking too long, what is Lapis woke up and she wasn’t there? The blue haired woman was unpredictable at best and right now she was teetering on the edge. Peridot began to nibble on the sides of her thumb chewing the cuticles around her nail bed. A nervous tick her mother used to admonish. The door opened and Pearl slipped out wearing a pair of fluffy pajama bottoms and a silk tank top. 

“Peridot, what is it you need?” Pearl said with a grimacing smile.

Why was Pearl being so nice? Pearl was never nice when you woke her up or broke rules. Then it dawned on Peridot. She had just caught Pearl breaking a big rule. She was sleeping with one of her residents. Pearl and Amethyst were…were...Peridot stopped that train of thought before the images of her friend and Pearl flashed before her eyes. 

“I need to know where the high school students and their teachers are staying.” Peridot replied cocky now that she had leverage. 

“Why?” Pearl asked but then shook her head. “They are on the other side of campus, staying in the newer dorms. May I go back to sleep now?” 

“I need to borrow your van.” Peridot wasn’t asking. 

“Do you even have a driver’s license?” Pearl asked she was less flexible then Peridot originally thought. 

“Of course,” Peridot lied. “I’m not a rule breaker, just like you I follow the rules set by campus authority.” Peridot and Pearl locked eyes and the meaning was clear. 

“One minute.” Perl went back into her room and came back with a pair of keys. “Let me make this clear, you get caught I don’t know how you got those keys.” 

“Deal.” Peridot didn’t wait for Pearl’s reaction before she was running down the halls to make it to the parking lot. She didn’t have that much time, she refused to be away from Lapis long. Peridot found Pearl’s minivan parked in one of the Resident Assistant’s special parking spots by the front of the dorm. 

Peridot had never driven. Not a single time, her mother had never found it important to teach her. Why drive when others can do it for you. So Peridot tried to remember what people did in movies and television shows. She started the car and looked down at the knob that had different letters written on it. R must be reverse; Peridot threw the van into reverse and lightly toed the gas while keeping one foot hovering above the breaks. If R was reverse than D is for drive. Peridot turned the wheel to exit the parking spot and switched the van into drive. 

Peridot drove 10 below the speed limit and kept her eyes peeled for campus police looking for drunken students at this hour. Peridot knew where the new building was, it was an assignment at one point looking through blueprints with Professor Agate. She knew that building inside and out. It took thirty minutes to get there with no help from her poor driving skills and lack of speeding. She carefully parked the car in an available spot and hopped out locking the doors silently behind her. 

The nice thing about college dorms was there were always lit up brightly from the outside. It left nothing shadowed or obscured. So Peridot wasn’t sure to curse or thank or luck that the short British woman was sitting outside the dorms smoking. She took long drags of her cigarette before blowing the smoke out all at once. This was Peridot’s chance that gigantic woman Topaz wasn’t lurking around. She could take the British woman on if she needed too. 

Peridot approached making her presence known to the British woman who smiled when she saw who was in front of her. “Ah, Lapis’ newest toy, doesn’t she know she shouldn’t leave her things unattended.” The woman spoke in a sneer. 

“Who are you?” Peridot asked ignoring the woman’s taunts. “What are you to Lapis?” 

The woman took another long drag of her cigarette before blowing it out in Peridot’s face making the blonde choke and sputter. “I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised she didn’t tell you. She’s a secretive girl.” 

“Answer me!” Peridot demanded. She was exhausted from these games. No one ever gave her a straight answer. The smoke made her feel sick to her stomach. 

“Please be polite, I cannot stand rudeness.” The woman snapped. “My name is Aquamarine, as to who I am, I’m a teacher and a swim coach in Jersey.” 

This Aquamarine was answering too simply for Peridot she was weaseling her way out of answers. “How do you know Lapis?” 

“She is an old student of mine, a prodigy.” Aquamarine grinned showing off pearly white teeth. “We had a falling out of sorts, so she left.” Aquamarine’s dark eyes fixed on Peridot. “What does Lapis see in a puny little girl like you? You aren’t very attractive, you aren’t strong so you can’t protect her, and clearly you aren’t that smart if you came here alone.” Aquamarine took another hard suck on her cigarette. “Topaz.” 

Peridot didn’t have a moment to react before large hands were lifting her up from behind and she was stuck in a tight crushing hold. Before she could scream or gasp a hand pressed into her mouth. “Stupid, stupid girl. Topaz, bring her over this way out of the light.” 

Peridot struggled but it was futile kicking her feet into Topaz did nothing and her arms were pressed tight into her own body bruising her ribs. Topaz brought her into the darkness on the side of the dorm building where Aquamarine waited with her cigarette held between her fingers. “I really hate rude people even more I hate cocky people. You silly girl are both of those things. Topaz, shirt.” 

Peridot’s shirt was torn from her body in one quick movement leaving her in just a bra. Topaz dropped Peridot to the grass and kept one hand pressed to her mouth. Peridot fought to sit up but Topaz was so much stronger and could keep her held down with one hand. Aquamarine edged closer and kneeled down next to Peridot. “Tonight is going to serve a lesson to you. I want you to think about Lapis, she is the reason you are suffering now.” Aquamarine pressed her cigarette into Peridot’s ribs burning the skin and Peridot screamed and cried. Nothing was heard through Topaz’s meaty hand. “It’s going to be a long night for you.” Aquamarine taunted as she pressed the still lit cigarette into another part of Peridot’s body. “A very long night,” Aquamarine took the glasses off Peridot’s face and placed them on the grass. In one movement she crushed them beneath her boots. “Trust me you do not want to see this.”


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lapis wonders where Peridot is after waking up without her girlfriend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning this has violence and mentions of rape, abuse, and torture. 
> 
> Next chapter will be about healing. From one victim to another. 
> 
> Now I need to listen to happy 90s music to erase the pain haha :S
> 
> Thank you for reading.

Lapis awoke on the floor of her room her head was killing her. She struggled to get up on wobbly feet. With a yawn she went to the bathroom and turned the sink on to drink from. She was surprised not to see Peridot. Usually the blonde was nearby. Lapis knocked on Peridot’s door and got no reply. She walked in and the room was empty not a single clue as to where her girlfriend could be. Lapis returned to her own room and now through no longer sleep filled eyes she saw broken glass across the room. Approaching it she could smell whiskey. “No…fuck.” Lapis cursed herself. “Did I do something to her?” She couldn’t remember a thing about the night before. Lapis grabbed her phone to see if Peridot had texted her. Maybe she had a class. Nothing from Peridot, Lapis ran a hand through her hair. She must’ve done something awful. 

She had to call Peridot to find out where she was and beg for forgiveness. Seeing that woman it set her off it made her teeter back into her old ways. Lapis put the phone to her ear and listened to it ring. Once, twice and on the third it picked up. “Peridot! I’m so sorry for whatever I did. Please let me know what happened.” Lapis tumbled through her words. 

“Lapis, darling, so good of you to call,” A British voice answered. Lapis almost dropped the phone but she held on for dear life. “What have I told you about leaving your toys out? I picked her up for you though.” Lapis fell to her knees on the floor no longer able to stand and listen to this. She had to for Peridot. She listened hard to see if she could hear just a glimpse of Peridot in the background noise. A whimper, was that her? “You’re sister is taking good care of your toy.” 

“You’ve gone too far this time,” Lapis hissed into the phone. “Peridot, she’s from a powerful family. You can’t do to her what you’ve done to me.” Lapis threatened. Aquamarine just laughed that awful high pitched sound that came from the back of her throat. “I’ve got collateral. I looked into this Peridot after she so foolishly tried to use her name as a weapon against me. I’ve got some delicious blackmail on her, she won’t be tattling to anyone.” There was a pause. “Do you want to talk to her?” 

Lapis was desperate to hear Peridot’s voice, she was forgetting what it sounded like as she was drowning in Aquamarine. “Yes…” 

There was shuffling on the other line and then she heard a small sob. “Lapis?” 

“Peridot! I’m going to get you don’t worry. I won’t let them hurt you anymore.” Lapis wanted to say more. She wanted to apologize for Peridot’s misfortune in meeting her. She wanted to apologize for having dragged Peridot into her life. But she didn’t get the chance before Aquamarine was back on the phone gloating. “If you come back like a good girl, I’ll give her back. Will you be a good girl for me Lapis?” Lapis clenched her eyes shut and tried to chase away the demons of memories flooding her mind. She had to think of Peridot to hold that pale freckled face in her memory instead. Peridot chased away the bad. “Yes, I will.” Lapis lied and it was so hard to lie to Aquamarine but she had to for Peridot. 

“Come to the pier motel room 4 and be ready to play.” Aquamarine hung the phone up. 

Lapis wanted so badly to curl up on the floor to cry to scream. She got up instead. She wanted to drink a bottle of whiskey which chased her memory away with each bittersweet swig. She walked out of the door and across the hall to Jasper’s room instead. She knew Jasper must hate her for everything and she rather avoid the muscular woman. She knocked. 

Jasper opened the door and when she saw Lapis she crossed her arms over her chest. “What do you want?” 

“Peridot is in trouble and I need your help.” Lapis looked down not able to face Jasper after everything she had done to the other woman. “Please, it’s not for me it’s for her.”  
“I’ll be right out, uh will you be okay waiting for a minute?” Jasper asked her forehead wrinkled the way it did when she was confused or questioning. 

“I’ll be fine. Please hurry.” Lapis replied she sat down outside of Jasper’s door and counted the seconds by. It was something she used to do when she’d wait for her special times with Aquamarine to be over. Counting and keeping count through large numbers took effort it made her think. She was reaching 121 when Jasper came out wielding a bat in each hand. One polished wood and the other a shiny metal. Jasper handed the wooden bat to Lapis. “Just in case,” Jasper warned. “Not a first resort.” 

“Yeah, sure.” Lapis responded looking at the wooden power in her hands. Could she take on Topaz with this? “A last resort, Lapis. I don’t want you killing anyone.” Jasper was serious. So Lapis nodded solemnly but she wouldn’t hesitate if she thought Peridot needed help. She’d break Aquamarine’s hand for touching Peridot. 

It was a blur as she thought about Peridot and what could’ve been done to her. Somewhere in-between her thoughts for her girlfriend and giving Jasper the directions they arrived outside of the motel. Jasper parked her motorcycle and the two got off side by side looking at the room number 4 across the way. Jasper twirled the bat in her hands she lifted the goggles she wore while driving her motorcycle up. Lapis wished she had thought to wear a leather jacket something that could offer some protection if it came to violence. 

“Stay behind me, don’t do anything stupid.” Jasper warned and led the charge. She walked forward with calm collectiveness. Jasper was never afraid, Lapis respected that. Jasper knocked on the door and kept the bat at her side in her left hand. Topaz answered the door and silently stepped aside to let them pass through. Peridot was sitting on the bed leaning against the headboard. Naked, bruised, bloody, and had burn marks on her. Malachite lay next to her drifting her fingers over pale bruised flesh. Lapis’ blood boiled and she clenched her hand on the bat she held tighter. They hurt her Peridot. 

Aquamarine stood there with a big grin. “I thought you might bring your brute with you.” 

“I don’t want to talk. I don’t even want to look at you. Peridot is coming with us. End of discussion.” Jasper’s voice was dangerous her eyes murderous. 

“Peridot still wants to play with us, right?” Aquamarine looked at Peridot who nodded her head weakly. “How could you take her away from all this fun?” 

“Listen bitch, I am not someone you can push around or play games with!” Jasper pointed the bat at Aquamarine and Topaz grunted reminding Jasper of her presence. 

“Take a seat both of you.” Aquamarine commanded. 

“I’m not going to follow orders like some dog.” Jasper was getting angrier by the second. 

“Let me put this in words that will get through that thick skull of yours. You aren’t leaving with Peridot. I have pictures of her in the middle of quite lewd things, ready to be sent to her mother at any moment. From there I might take them to the press.” Aquamarine giggled at the thought sending shivers down Lapis’ spine. “Wouldn’t that just be scrumptious?” 

Lapis glared at Aquamarine but took a seat on the other bed not occupied by Peridot and Malachite. Jasper sat down next to her the bed dipped under her weight. 

“You’re play thing here had quite a few questions about you, Lapis. Why don’t you answer them now?” Aquamarine pulled a list out and read the first one off. “What is your connection to Lapis, she’s talking about me here.” 

Lapis bit down hard on the inside of her cheek. She didn’t want to answer she couldn’t let Peridot know the awful truth. Her greatest secret and biggest shame. “Tell her!” Aquamarine raised her voice and Lapis was but a child again. “She’s my mother…my adoptive mother.” Lapis couldn’t look at Peridot or Jasper. She kept her eyes glued to her lap and dug her nails into the wooden bat in her lap. Fat tears rolled down her cheeks. Her adoptive mother, her abuser, her rapist, they were all on in the same. Aquamarine. 

“You see, Lapis and I are very close. Next question, what did you do to Lapis?” Aquamarine set her dark eyes on Lapis. “Go on tell her.” 

This was breaking her, shattering her into a million pieces having to retell the past she tried to run from in front of her abuser, her ex, her sister, and her girlfriend. “She adopted Malachite and I in middle school, we aren’t blood related but we grew up in the orphanage together.” Lapis was avoiding the question it was obvious. “This is your last warning.” Aquamarine threatened. “She was kind to us at first but when I got older she would hit me. When she was tired of hitting me she decided to touch me, to...” Lapis couldn’t keep going her voice was choked up in her throat. 

“She raped us, she fucked us. Is it that hard to say?” Malachite spoke up. “You’re such a coward. You can’t even say what happened. She raped you every day and when she got bored of you she did it to me. No one believed us, who would listen to two delinquent orphans?” 

“I’ve heard enough of this.” Jasper stood up but Aquamarine shot her a look. “Sit down, or I ruin your friend’s life.” Jasper sat. 

“Final question oh and this one is for me. Why can’t you leave her alone? Talking about you here” Aquamarine turned to face Peridot. “She belongs to me. Call it a mother’s love. I was worried about my child. I came to retrieve her.” 

“No, you aren’t taking her.” Peridot spoke this time her voice was hoarse from what Lapis could only assume was from screaming. “I don’t care what you do to me. Go ahead send pictures of me to my mother send them to the media. I don’t care. What you did to Lapis is unforgiveable. I won’t let you have her.” Peridot’s voice shook with the effort of speaking. “Fuck them up, Jasper.” 

Jasper didn’t need another word before she stood bat in hand. Topaz rushed her and Jasper swung smacking Topaz squarely in the ribs with a sick crunch. Topaz crumbled to the ground clutching her right side. “You next?” Jasper asked eying Aquamarine. “Not so big now that you’re guard dog is down.” 

Malachite went after Jasper now protecting her mother. Lapis didn’t hesitate she swung her bat with less power than Jasper wielded but she stopped Malachite knocking the wind out of her sister. Aquamarine backed up. “Listen, Lapis. I am still your mother you will not do this!” 

Those words might’ve worked another time they might have brought back to that small awful place in her mind. Today it didn’t work. “What hand did you touch Peridot with? Go on, mother tell me.” 

Aquamarine balked and she backed into the wall by the beds. “You will not!” 

“You’re right handed, correct?” Lapis swung down on Aquamarine’s hand and reveled in the sound of bones breaking under her power. “Lapis, Jasper that’s enough. Let’s go.” Peridot had risen off the bed her legs shaking. Jasper took her leather jacket off and draped it around Peridot. It was huge on Peridot’s small frame and covered her naked body nicely. Peridot took another shaky step forward and Lapis stopped her dropping the bat and picking Peridot up in her arms bridal style. “Jasper, I want to go home.” Lapis said she held her precious cargo tight to her chest. 

Jasper nodded in agreement and stepped over Topaz by the door and opened it for Lapis to walk out with Peridot in her arms. They rode on the motorcycle like they did the first time, Peridot in Lapis’ lap. Lapis kept her arms tight around her girlfriend. If Aquamarine tried to touch Peridot again she’d kill her.


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot is brought home by Lapis and gets a surprise visitor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trying to make it a little more fluffy this chapter. 
> 
> As always thank you for reading and next chapter will be a bit more about what happened to Peridot.

Peridot understood now. She understood all too clearly what Lapis had gone through. Aquamarine was sick, a twisted woman who committed perverse corrupt acts. Peridot couldn’t imagine having to live with that for years, to have someone do what was done to her every day. Peridot knew Lapis was strong, stronger than anyone she’d ever known for being able to exist after such atrocities were done to her. Lapis held her close as they made it back to her dorm room, Jasper offered to carry her but Lapis refused every time she just held Peridot close to her body protecting her from everything. Peridot knew she must be getting heavy but Lapis persevered. Lapis laid Peridot down on the bed and took her hand. “I’ll take care of you,” Lapis promised. 

Peridot nodded and then with Lapis’ help slipped Jasper’s jacket off and handed it over to her friend. Jasper didn’t hide her gaze as she looked over Peridot’s naked body; she cringed slightly at the sight. “I should’ve broken her face.” Jasper snarled. “Where are your glasses?” Jasper asked this time slightly calmer. 

“Broken, gone,” Peridot replied her voice raspy she barely recognized her own words. Jasper clenched her hands into fists and paced the room. “Bastards, who does that? Fucking should go back there and finish them.” Jasper tossed her hands up. “What can I do? Peridot, how can I help?” Jasper was lost and her golden eyes were pleading with hers to do something to help somehow. “You can go bring Pearl’s van back…I left it at the new dorms…” Peridot decided to give Jasper a somewhat easy task. “I uh lost the keys too.” Jasper nodded, “Consider it done.” Jasper put her jacket back on and slid her goggles back into place before she stormed out of the room. 

“In my dresser drawer I have an old pair of glasses, can you get them?” Peridot asked pointing to her dresser across the room. Lapis looked and then looked back down to Peridot’s hand. “I’m not going anywhere, Lazuli.”

Lapis let go of her hand and quickly wandered over to the dresser she grabbed the old pair of glasses and bounded back to Peridot in just a few steps. “Just put them there,” Peridot pointed to the bedside table. “I don’t really want to see right now…” 

Lapis took her hand again and tears fell down her cheeks again. “I’m so sorry. Peridot I never meant for any of this to happen. Not to you. I…” Lapis stopped choking on her sobs. Peridot reached for her girlfriend and ran a comforting hand through dark blue locks of hair. “None of this is your fault. Not a single thing.” Peridot could still feel the grit and grime from her time with Aquamarine. “Can you help me take a shower?” 

With Lapis’ help Peridot was able to get off the bed and they made their way to the bathroom. Peridot leaned on Lapis her legs were still shaky. Aquamarine thought it was funny to tie her legs up into different positons that stretched the muscles and made her bones ache. Now she was feeling those effects. She almost fell when her left leg gave out the one Topaz had kicked when she tried to run. “I can carry you.” Lapis offered but Peridot shook her head. “Just take it slower.” Lapis shifted Peridot so more of her weight was distributed onto Lapis. Lapis turned the shower on with one hand while keeping a supporting arm wrapped around Peridot’s waist. 

Lapis helped Peridot sit down on the closed toilet. Lapis quickly worked her clothes off and Peridot noticed for the first time scars she must’ve glanced right by. Healed burn marks from a cigarette, a deep scar on her hip. When Lapis turned around to check the water Peridot saw what the tattoo was covering a large scar on her back. It could’ve been a burn or maybe a cut, Peridot couldn’t tell with the tattoo ink now covering it. How could she have missed those details before? It painted such a clear picture now, one that was riddled with years of abuse. Did she willfully ignore these clues about Lapis? 

“Peri, are you ready?” Lapis asked breaking Peridot from her thoughts. Peridot tried to stand up but fell back down. Topaz had done a number on her left leg. Kicking it and then stomping on it. She couldn’t feel anything from the leg it just didn’t work in supporting her. It could be broken. Lapis scooped her back up in her arms and stepped into the shower, Lapis carefully sat down on the shower floor cradling Peridot. 

“What happened to your leg? Peridot, is it broken?” Lapis asked. Peridot touched her bruised leg it didn’t hurt. “I don’t know.” 

Lapis let out a long tired sigh and pulled Peridot close. Peridot was able to relax sitting in-between Lapis’ legs her long arms wrapped around Peridot’s waist. “Peridot…” Lapis nuzzled into her hair breathing in her scent. “I don’t know if you’re ready…but can you tell me what she did?”

Peridot let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding she leaned back resting her head on Lapis’ breasts. To retell everything that happened it would be painful, but Lapis did it. Lapis was able to tell what happened to her. Peridot placed her hands onto of Lapis’ she took a deep breath and watched the water fall onto her legs from the showerhead. “I tried to confront her. She looked like she was alone. That beast of a woman was lurking around and they caught me. She tore my shirt off…” Peridot paused she looked down at her bruised ribs that were decorated in burn marks. “She burned me.” Lapis ran her fingers over Peridot’s ribs with feather light touches. She looked at a burn mark that had already begun healing, “It’s going to heal, you might scar.” Lapis sounded guilty as if she had done it. 

“Then we will match,” Peridot intervened. “I was so stupid. I never once noticed the scars on your body, I was so selfish.” Tears began to well up and spill out. “I just cared about myself and getting what I wanted…I-I didn’t even think of you.” Now she was making awful sobbing sounds that hurt her ribs as she took in hitched breaths. 

“Shush…” Lapis cooed. She leaned forward and kissed Peridot’s cheek. “I tried to hide those things, I didn’t want anyone knowing.” Lapis held Peridot closer trying her best not to aggravate any injuries. “Let me clean you off,” Lapis carefully scooted away from Peridot and stood up to grab a washcloth and some soap. “Don’t stand, I’ll come to you.” Lapis said when she watched Peridot try to stand again. 

Peridot lifted her arms when Lapis asked and did her best to make Lapis’ job of washing her easier. Lapis stopped when she reached that intimate spot in-between Peridot’s legs. Blue eyes searched green eyes. “No, they didn’t…they didn’t there…” Peridot managed to say and she nodded giving her consent for Lapis to carefully clean her in such an intimate area. Lapis worked at a slow pace treating Peridot like fragile china. Once finished Lapis turned the shower off and grabbed a fluffy green towel and wrapped Peridot up lifting the blonde up once again and carrying her back into the bedroom.

Peridot was placed back on the bed and Lapis promised to be back once she got a change of clothes for herself. Peridot grabbed her spare pair of glasses and slipped them on. The prescription was older and so it wasn’t as clear as her destroyed pair. She looked down at her left leg covered in nasty bruises and torn skin. Looking closer she thought she could see the bone shifted slightly. Maybe it was broken. Angry knocking sounded on her door. “Lapis!” Peridot called out but her girlfriend was in the other room unable to hear her. Peridot sighed and quickly wrapped the green towel around herself, she edged off the bed and almost fell catching herself on the bedpost. Her left leg was useless. She eyed her replica Inu-Yasha sword and grabbed it using it as a walking stick to help her make it to the door. 

She was a walking disaster. A towel barely hanging onto her and she hobbled along using a replica sword. Pathetic. Peridot opened the door ready to yell at whoever put her in this predicament. But instead she saw a face she thought she’d never see so soon, especially not here. 

“You have a lot of explaining to do!” Blue Zircon charged into the room closing the door behind her. She still had her work clothes on a perfectly tailored suit and a leather messenger back across her chest. 

Did Aquamarine really send those pictures? If so it would explain Blue being here, her mother would’ve sent a lawyer. Blue Zircon a lawyer at her wife’s firm the Zircon group who mostly worked privately for the Diamond group, Blue was always sent after Peridot. 

Blue was panicked like usual, sweat beaded on her forehead and she pushed her glasses up. “What is going on?!” she turned to Peridot and looked at her charge’s predicament. “What happened to you? Your face?! Oh she’s going to kill me…” 

Peridot hobbled back to her bed and Blue rushed over to help her clamber back up onto the mattress. Blue leaned forward to get a good look at Peridot and touched a sore spot right above the spot between Peridot’s eyebrows. “This will leave a nasty scar. She won’t like that one bit. Her only daughter damaged on my watch.” Blue was back to worry and when she worried she paced and circled. Blue dug through her bag to find her phone. “I’ll have to call a doctor to see you immediately. Maybe they can fix some of this.” 

“Absolutely not, I do not want my mother to know about this, any of this.” Peridot snapped. “Unless you have a doctor who will keep everything under wraps then put the phone down.” 

Blue was a nervous wreck and so she didn’t think about it and stuffed her phone back into her purse. “Let me think…” 

“Who is this?” Lapis came in dressed in pajama bottoms and a v neck tee-shirt. “Peridot?” Lapis looked afraid, did she think Blue was her mother?

“This is Blue,” Peridot replied. “She’s mostly harmless, a lawyer who takes care of me.” 

“Blue like the color?” Lapis asked. “It’s a nickname,” Blue replied she was going to wear a hole into the floor with all her pacing. “I’ve got it! Yellow will know what to do.” 

“No, I know you two are married and everything but she will blab to my mother. Think of something else.” Peridot replied shooting down that plan before it began to take life. 

Lapis sat down on the bed next to Peridot and watched Blue pace. It was an interesting sight to see an adult woman dressed impeccably pace and sweat to death. “What are you trying to figure out?” Lapis asked she reached for Peridot’s hand and held it content to just be touching. “How to get medical care without names being needed,” Peridot mumbled trying to think of a solution. 

“What about a med student here? Do you know any?” Lapis asked. It dawned on Peridot immediately who she could ask it was so obvious. “Lapis you are a genius! I don’t think she’ll be too happy about it but she might help.” It wouldn’t be pleasant having to ask who she had in mind but it was their only option. “Grab my phone.”


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot phoned her friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a short one but the next will be longer. I wanted to break it into two chapters so it flowed better.

Peridot was uncomfortable she was lying on the hospital bed with just a sheet covering her pubic area. If she was ever embarrassed about her body before this week had gotten rid of that. The person she had called was a medical student who was very skilled and double majored in bio-engineering. Sapphire had her silvery hair pulled back while she worked starting with Peridot’s face first. Meanwhile pacing just a few feet away never far from Sapphire was Ruby, who kept herself busy by complaining.

“Sapphy we shouldn’t be doing this! What if we get caught?” Ruby ran her hands over her face. “Ugh, we hardly know her!” 

“I will remind you that we are paying for your services,” Blue snapped in reply. 

“To lie! If Sapphire gets fired from her internship for this, I’m coming after all of you!” Ruby glared at the three of them. Lapis didn’t pay her any mind and kept a firm hold on Peridot’s hand. 

“Ruby I need you to see the x-ray technician about getting some pictures of Peridot’s leg. If she questions it remind her how we covered for her when she was taking naps on the machine.” Sapphire muttered in that soft voice. 

Peridot watched Ruby storm off. Then Sapphire was touching her face with gloved hands. “This will scar,” She said passing over the scar in the middle of Peridot’s forehead. “It’s not bleeding but I’m afraid if you get too expressive it will pull the skin. Best to put some butterfly stitches on it.” Sapphire pulled some items out of a cart nearby. She cleaned the area of the cut and then applied the butterfly stitches. “The burn marks I will not be able to do anything about. Those will heal up and most likely scar.” 

Hands touched Peridot’s ribs with medical precession. “Nothing cracked from what I can feel, but there could be hairline cracks. We can X-Ray for those as well. The next biggest concern is your leg.” Sapphire scooted in her rolling stool down to the end of the bed. “I am positive this is broken.” 

“A broken leg, a scared face, you will not be able to hide this.” Blue ranted, “I’ll be fired or worse demoted further.” 

“Are injuries like this linkable to a car accident?” Peridot asked. 

Sapphire sat back and thought it over, “To an untrained eye, yes.” 

“There is your story, lie. I was in a car accident.” Peridot sighed. “Spin it how you need to.” 

Lapis held Peridot’s hand tighter sensing the turmoil going through Peridot at this moment. Peridot was going to have to face her mother, this lie would do. 

“Then you’ll allow yourself to be admitted and seen by a real doctor?” Blue asked no begged. 

“Yeah, fuck it.” Peridot clenched Lapis’ hand harder. 

Sapphire nodded in agreement. “Then I will begin the admittance paperwork and a doctor will be in to see you. I better find Ruby though before she gets into trouble.” 

Sapphire walked out of the room on feet so light it seemed as if she was floating away. Blue Zircon was pulling her phone out, “I need to step out to call Yellow and then your mother.” 

Peridot looked up at Lapis who shifted the sheet up to cover her body. “Are you sure about this?” Lapis asked she had dark circles under her eyes from lack of sleep. 

“I want it to be on my terms. My mother will find out one way or another. If I am the one to tell her then I decide how it happens.” Peridot brought Lapis’ hand up to her lips and placed a gentle kiss on the tan flesh. “Don’t worry, she’s not so bad.” Peridot lied. She didn’t want to lie to Lapis but it was needed in this moment. Her mother really was that bad. She was mean and judgmental. 

“I only care about what you think,” Lapis mumbled leaning in close to wrap her arms around Peridot’s neck. “We will get through this.”   
Peridot could only imagine what her mother would say when she saw Lapis. Peridot wouldn’t lie though, if her mother asked she’d tell the truth. She wouldn’t run away this time.


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot gets a visit from the last person she wants to see.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was fun to write. Especially the ending part. Next chapter is about taking Aqua down. 
> 
> Thank you all for reading :)

Peridot hated the cast on her leg it made her skin itchy and irritable. She went to itch her leg but her nails grated on the neon green cast that went up past her knee. “Ugh! Clody cast! Lapis hand me something to stick in this!” Peridot demanded still trying to get the itch away. 

“Sapphire said not to put anything in your cast. It could get stuck.” Lapis warned she was sitting next to the hospital bed reading a poetry book. “Her excact words were ‘a kid came in with a pencil that grew into his leg because he got it stuck in his cast.’ That’s disgusting.” Lapis flipped her page and readjusted her posture sitting up straight from her previously slummed position. 

Blue Zircon was busy working on a laptop in a free corner of the room. She had files spread out amongst her. “Are you ever going to tell me what really happened?” Blue asked she looked up from her laptop. 

“I told you, you don’t want to know.” Peridot sighed. She wished Blue would stop asking. She might slip and tell her lawyer friend the truth. It would crush Blue to know what happened to the girl she was supposed to take care of. “Just stick to the story. Do you have a ruler in that bag of yours?” Peridot was still focused on trying to stick something down her cast to itch her dry skin. 

“Your girlfriend told you no and I’m tell you no.” Blue replied she went back to work clicking away on the laptop. 

“This isn’t fair. You two are ganging up on me!” Peridot whined. She looked down at the tablet in her lap that Blue had given her to play with. “This doesn’t even have games on it!”

“Stop complaining, Peri. Just relax.” Lapis murmured. Peridot wanted to keep arguing but with a soft pat on her hand she just lost her steam. How could Lapis calm her so easily?

“I hate waiting…” Peridot mumbled mostly to herself at this point. Blue’s phone began to ring some annoying high pitch melody. Blue fumbled for her phone dropped it twice before picking it up. 

“Hello, this is Mavi Zircon.” Blue said her real name on the phone. Lapis stifled a laugh at hearing Blue’s real name. “Oh stars, you’re here now? Are you just trying to tumble my rocks?” Blue was arguing with whoever was on the other line. “Of course, I’ll meet you down stairs and bring you to her room.” Blue hung up the phone and sweat had already begun beading on her forehead. “She’s here. Ms. Diamond is here.” 

Peridot felt like she had been punched in the gut. She had never actually expected her mother to come here, Peridot expected her to send her assistant. It had been a whole day since Blue had told her. Peridot had already had surgery done to her leg to add screws and other metals to stabilize the bones. Lapis’ deep blue eyes met hers and she felt that cooling calm wash over her. “Okay, let’s do this.” 

Blue left the room in a hurry. Lapis set her book down in her lap and held Peridot’s hand in both of hers. “Are you going to be okay?” Lapis asked. Peridot had to think would she be okay? Facing her mother after not seeing her for three years, she had made a million excuses to avoid her while attending college. “I don’t know…” Peridot’s voice drifted off and she stared at the door that her mother would walk in through. 

“Don’t be afraid you aren’t alone. I’m here.” Lapis leaned in to plant a kiss on her cheek. “We will do this together.” Lapis rubbed soothing circles into Peridot’s hand as they waited for the inevitable meeting. 

The door creaked open and Peridot held onto Lapis’ hand for dear life. Her mother walked in flanked by Yellow and Blue Zircon. She wore a skirt that stopped at the bottoms of her knees and a dangerous high heels, she had a blue silk blouse on and a blazer. Her sharp golden eyes met Peridot’s and Peridot felt five years old again. 

“Peridot,” Her mother spoke in all the seriousness of a woman with her standing. “Would you like to tell me what happened?” The tone she used it was like all those times Peridot had been in trouble as a kid. Like the time she was playing with her robots and knocked over an expensive vase, never mind the fact she had been cut. The vase was expensive, that’s what truly mattered. 

Peridot wanted to dig her nails into her own skin to relieve some of the tension her body was wracked with but Lapis held on firmly. “I…I was in a car accident.” 

Her mother approached and shot a look to Lapis who kept her head held high. “A car accident, what were you doing in a car? Who was driving? Was this girl driving?” 

“No, ma’am I wasn’t.” Lapis answered quickly. “I wasn’t asking you.” Her mother shot back to Lapis. “Peridot, answer me.” 

“I was driving a friend’s car…” Peridot lied and she knew then her mother picked up on it. “Driving without a license? That is a serious offence and you are telling me the police didn’t alert me of my daughter’s misdeeds?” 

Peridot took a hard swallow her mother’s commanding presence made her mouth go dry. “I don’t know…” She struggled to say anything. 

“The truth, Peridot, tell me the truth not this stupid lie you’ve concocted.” Her mother was losing patience with her. 

“It doesn’t matter, it’s not like you care anyways.” Peridot replied she kept her eyes down on her cast instead. Examining the color and texture, anything but looking at her mother. 

“So you aren’t going to explain the salacious pictures I was sent? Stop being so pathetic I didn’t raise you to act like such a sheep.” Her mother was pissed. “Look up at me when I speak to you.” Peridot looked up and she realized she was being reduced to tears. 

“Ma’am, I can explain what happened.” Lapis interjected but she got a death look from Peridot’s mother. “I have no interest in what someone like you has to say. You are the reason this happened. Don’t think I don’t know what goes on in my child’s life.” Her mother fixed herself on Lapis now. “Some low life orphan who ran away from home, a liar who cheated their way into a college. I know all about you. Your mother told me everything I needed to know. Alcoholism, just disgusting, and to think you corrupted my idiotic child.” 

“Leave Lapis alone!” Peridot yelled at her mother for the first time in her life. “You don’t know a thing about her!” Peridot was pushing herself up and her eyes met her mother’s, “You’re just a no good clod who doesn’t know a damn thing!” Peridot pointed to the door. “Just leave. Leave me alone! You’ve never cared about me so stop putting on this act.” 

Her mother chuckled slightly, “Let me offer you some advice. If someone blackmails this family they go down. I’m giving you this last chance to handle it. Take care of the woman who sent me these pictures or I will and I’ll take care of your delinquent lover as well.” Her mother turned to leave but looked at Blue. “And if you lie to me again for the sake of my child, I’ll have you fired.” 

Peridot’s mother walked out with Yellow Zircon following behind faithfully. Blue managed to sit down back in the work station she had made herself. She collapsed into the chair practically out of breath. “You called Ms. Diamond a clod…” 

“I’d do it again! No one talks about Lapis that way.” Peridot felt the power of her defiance in her very core. Lapis turned to look at Peridot tears were pricking the corners of her eyes. “Thank you for sticking up for me…” Peridot struggled to lean over and fell on her face as she tried to scoot closer to Lapis to give her a kiss. “Come here, clod.” Lapis sighed and pulled Peridot closer and planted a tender kiss on her chapped lips. 

A knock on the door had them pulling apart quickly and Blue panting. “Oh no, is she back?” 

The door opened and Pearl, Amethyst, Garnet, and Jasper walked in. Garnet was carrying a bouquet of sunflowers and Amethyst had a tray of cupcakes. Pearl however had a paper in her hand that looked suspiciously like a bill. Jasper stood to the side nervous. Pearl approached first and set the paper down on Peridot’s lap. “One thousand dollars to replace my window and door that your friend took out,” Pearl jutted a finger out at Jasper. 

“I smashed the window to break in and bring the car back but I could get the latch for the door with my fingers. So I may have ripped it off the hinges.” Jasper shrugged. 

“The um Zircon group will handle the bill, miss.” Blue spoke up from her spot in the corner. “Please hand me the bill.” Pearl liked this news and practically skipped over with the bill to Blue. “Oh and Peridot, you’re an idiot. But I’m glad you are okay.” Pearl said over her shoulder. 

Garnet came forward next with Amethyst taking the rear. “I brought some flowers to brighten the room up.” Garnet set the flowers down next to Lapis. Amethyst held out cupcakes, “These three said you wouldn’t want to eat after everything but I got your favorite cupcakes! The ones with pistachio icing!” 

Peridot smiled and held her hand out for a cupcake. Amethyst’s face lit up and she placed a cupcake in Peridot’s hand. “Dude, enjoy.” Amethyst turned to Lapis, “Hey, you want one?” Lapis looked a little surprised that Peridot’s friends were talking to her. “Yeah, sure.” 

Peridot watched the way Jasper and Garnet spoke with smiles. Pearl and Blue looking at the laptop in the corner and presumably paying for repairs. Amethyst, Lapis, and herself enjoying cupcakes at her hospital bed. Peridot had never felt so loved and cared for in her entire life. Lapis was laughing at something funny Amethyst said and it was all just so perfect.


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot, Lapis and Blue Zircon work on a plan. Peridot isn't on board.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your patience. Work has been hell this week. I am sick yet again. (A student sneezed right on me, yeah yuck!) 
> 
> This can be triggering as it mentions rape and underage sex. (All in the past) 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this one and it doesn't feel too disjointed I've been working on bits of it throughout the week. 
> 
> As always thank you for reading and please leave any comments or questions below :) 
> 
> On a side note any life is strange fans out there I played LIS before the storm and it was amazing and mega gay. I liked it better than LIS.

Peridot hated the crutches she was forced to use. They cut into her armpits and she could never quite coordinate them properly. Lapis stood behind her patiently with her hands at the ready to catch Peridot should she fall. 

“Stupid cast, stupid elevator, stupid dorm.” Peridot hissed as she worked her way down to her dorm room. She was in the hospital for only two days and now she was cleared to return home. 

“Take it slow.” Blue warned she was walking in front of Peridot with her tablet busy typing away at something. “It’s best to practice.” She wasn’t really paying attention because when Peridot stuck her tongue out Blue didn’t respond. 

Peridot had stopped walking and her room was four more doors down. “I’m done. This sucks.” Peridot whined. Lapis placed her hands on Peridot’s hips, “I’ll give you a treat if you can make it.” Lapis purred into Peridot’s ear. Peridot suddenly found the drive to try to move more. She hobbled her way down the hall till she reached her door. She wanted whatever Lapis was willing to give. 

“That got her moving,” Blue mumbled she was still clicking away on her tablet. Her glasses reflected the glare slightly and Peridot could make out the word Aquamarine. What was Blue doing? Did she really expect Peridot to deal with Aquamarine? That little British woman was a psychopath. 

Peridot leaned on her door and waited for Lapis to open it and help her inside. Blue followed and then took a seat at Peridot’s computer. Peridot just realized her clan in WOW would be pissed she hadn’t been on in weeks. With help Peridot was able to get on her bed. Lapis stuffed a pillow under Peridot’s thigh and another down lower, elevating her casted leg. 

“What’s my reward?” Peridot asked innocently. Lapis leaned down and kissed her on her forehead scar. “When Blue leaves I’ll give it to you.” Lapis whispered for Peridot’s ears only. 

Peridot looked over at her lawyer and guardian, Blue looked comfortable not about to move anywhere anytime soon. Blue caught Peridot glaring at her and face flushed with color bronzing her caramel colored cheeks. “I am only here to do as Ms. Diamond requested.” 

“So you are still on her side?” Peridot grumbled, “Don’t be such a lapdog, Blue.” 

Blue wiped at the sweat on her brow, “I am not a lapdog. Ms. Diamond is my boss. I’m a good worker.” 

“A brown-noser!” Peridot argued. “Do you really expect me to try and take down some crazy woman? She got what she wanted and let her go.” Peridot finished crossing her arms over her chest. Lapis however gave her a pleading look. “Peridot, she still has my sister. I don’t know what Mala did to you but she’s my only family. Can’t we fight for her?” 

The truth was Peridot wanted revenge as much as the next person. But she was afraid the things Aquamarine did to her were unforgivable and worse even she could do them again. Thinking about what that evil woman did sent shivers down her spine and Peridot wanted to hide under the covers. But Lapis was asking, Lapis needed her help. Malachite wasn’t too bad to her during her time with the three of them. Malachite just asked a lot of questions. She wanted to know if Lapis and Peridot were dating she wanted to know if they had sex. She wanted to know if she could touch Peridot too. Peridot told her no, that Lapis had to build trust with her. Malachite had agreed to those terms but got bored and played with Peridot’s hair before moving down further to touch her collarbone and then rub her fingers over a sensitive nipple. 

“Peridot?”

Lapis’ voice broke Peridot from that place. She tore Peridot away from the past and brought her back to the present. Is that how Lapis felt? Falling so quickly into the past, afraid of what had happened and what could happen? Was Malachite just like Lapis? Confused and scared, Lapis too had touched her once without permission. Maybe they were the same. Peridot thought it over. If she would help Lapis then she would help Malachite, they were two sides of the same coin. 

“Yeah?” Peridot finally responded. 

“You okay?” Lapis asked first waiting for Peridot to nod that she was indeed okay. “Will you help her?” 

“Only because you asked,” Peridot agreed. “Blue what do you need from me?” 

Blue looked at Lapis, “Nothing from you right now, Peridot. I need information from Lapis, she after all knows Aquamarine the best.” 

Lapis’ tan skin paled, “I wouldn’t say that…” 

Peridot put a hand on Lapis’ arm, “You can do this.” 

Lapis took in a deep breath and let it out slowly through her nose. “I used to live in a group home with Malachite. We had always been together even though we aren’t blood relatives she is my sister. In middle school I joined the swim team and that’s when I met Aquamarine.” Lapis bit down on her bottom lip hard and Peridot could tell this was hurting her girlfriend. “She used to watch me swim, she’s the best swim coach in the area and so they let her. I guess she started asking about me one day and found out I was in a group home. She adopted me and Malachite.” Lapis’ lip began to bleed. “She was nice at first we each had our own rooms she had a pretty house. But as I got older she wanted something more than a mother and daughter relationship.” Blood dribbled down Lapis’ chin and her voice was shaking. “She raped me when I turned thirteen and every day after that. I hated her and everything she was. She used to force Malachite and I to...to touch each other for her own amusement.” 

Peridot reached out for Lapis to hold her hand, Lapis pulled away she dug her nails into her thighs. “I thought of a million ways to make her disappear, to kill her. I would’ve done it to. Instead I ran, I ran away from home and told her if she tried to come after me I would tell everyone the truth that I wasn’t afraid of her anymore. I had proof. I knew where she kept her perverted pictures of Mala and me. It was a bluff but she fell for it. Before I left I stole some of her jewelry and sold it for money to get by on. I was living in a shitty apartment trying to hold down a job when I got a letter from this school saying I was accepted. I had never applied, I guess Aquamarine applied for me. Another lie she told. That’s when I decided to come here, I thought she was willing to let me go.” Lapis’ nails scraped her own skin open. “I was fucking wrong, she will never let me go. She is possessive, she can’t stand the thought of losing.” 

Blue didn’t say a word but she typed away on her tablet recording the information. Large tears fell down Lapis’ face. “Promise me, Peridot. Promise you won’t let her take me again.” Lapis turned to Peridot putting all her trust and hope into the blonde. “You have all this power that you won’t use just because it’s connected to your mother. I am begging you to use this power to get rid of my mother.” 

How could she say no? Peridot couldn’t. She focused on the blood dripping from Lapis’ cut lip and the scratches on her thighs. Even talking about Aquamarine was toxic for Lapis. She had to do something even if it meant using her mother to do it. “Okay. I’ll do everything I can and I will use everything I can.” Peridot promised. She meant it. She would do whatever it took to destroy Aquamarine. “I will get your sister back, Aquamarine won’t have her.” 

Lapis didn’t hesitate and got on the bed jostling Peridot’s leg which hurt like a bitch but it didn’t matter. Lapis’ arms were around her neck and hot tears stung her neck. Lapis let out long choked sobs and Peridot comforted by rubbing her back. Peridot shot a look at Blue who nodded and quietly stood up and left her room. Peridot held Lapis while she shook and cried. She could only imagine the memories her story had dug up. “I have you, don’t worry Lapis. I’ve got you.”


	28. Look at all the things we have come from

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot has made a decision on what she is going to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is short but I hope it begins my own redemption arc. 
> 
> "We are, we are more than our scars  
> We are, we are more than the sum of our parts"
> 
> Sum of our Parts- Mary Lambert

Peridot glared at the computer in her lap she was propped up by a pile of pillows. “No! Not that way! Agro him!” She shouted at her clan through her mic. They would never get through this dungeon without her clan cooperating. Lapis looked up from the spot she had at the end of the bed leaning against the wall with a book in her hands. “Calm down, Peri.” 

“I can’t calm down with these idiots! They don’t know a damn thing!” Peridot groaned. She saw the book Lapis was reading. Some sort of legal one Blue had brought. Peridot was biding her time she didn’t want to ask her mother for help, but the power of the Diamond family could help Lapis. Her clan was shouting at her and she looked back at the computer and she had died. “Fuck, sorry guys.” She sighed. “Gotta go, try again tomorrow maybe.” She closed her laptop and looked at Lapis who sat cross legged and hunched to read from the large book. 

“Lapis, can we talk?” Peridot asked she looked down. It was hard to talk with someone looking right at you. It was the same in class when she had to give a presentation. She would stare at the back wall and ignore all the faces looking at her. The sound of the large book closing made Peridot jump slightly. 

“Sure thing,” She didn’t have to look to know Lapis’ eyes were on her. It made the words in Peridot’s head circle around she had to chase them down to get them out. 

“You want me to ask my mother for help…” It wasn’t a question it was a confirmation of what Lapis had asked her the other night when she had cried in her arms. 

“I don’t see how this can go any other way. I’ve been reading through the book Blue left me and there is so much required. First to charge her with sexual assault of a minor then to fight her in custody over Malachite, I might not even win. I could go through all of this and walk away with nothing to show for it.” Lapis’ voice broke as she spoke. “I would have to retell what she did to me in front of an audience. I would have to let a jury decide if what happened was truly wrong, what if it wasn’t? What if I just…” Her voice broke off completely and turned to choking sobs. 

Peridot looked up and struggled to reach for Lapis with her broken leg it made maneuvering hard. But she grabbed a tan hand and pulled and Lapis fell into her. Lapis curled against her side as they lay down together on the bed. Peridot wrapped her arms around Lapis and felt hot tears run down her arms. 

She had to do this. Not for herself but for Lapis. She was going to go back on everything she had promised herself so long ago. She’d have to go see her mother. She’d have to ask something of the woman. It wasn’t for her, it was for Lapis. She was doing this for Lapis. Peridot ran a hand through Lapis’ deep blue hair. “I’ll do it. I’ll do everything I can to make it so you never suffer again. Lapis I promise to protect you. I promise to make sure she never hurts you again.” She held the woman in her arms tighter. Lapis always felt cold against her warm skin. 

“Thank you.” Lapis managed to say and she kept her face buried against Peridot’s chest. They lay there for a long time with Peridot running her hands up and down Lapis’ arms over shoulder blades and down her back. She’d rub soothing circles into her back when the tears started again. Words didn’t need to be spoken in that moment. It was just the two of them being them. Comfortable silence the calm before the storm. 

Peridot dreaded the thought of having to see her mother she felt like a small child again. She’d have to deal with her mother’s smug assistant who turned her pointy nose up at Peridot every chance she got. She’d have to go back into the home she ran from. She’d have to smell that overpowering smell of jasmine that permeated the house. Before the fear of what could happen got worse a loud snore broke her out of those thoughts. Lapis was snoring. Similar to what a chainsaw would sound like if it was ground against concrete. But it was Lapis and so it was music to her ears. 

Soon she found herself drifting off to the melody of chainsaws against concrete, the feeling of a body next to her pressed against her, the rise and fall of Lapis’ chest as she breathed. It was too much to try to stay awake and she let heavy eyelids fall shut.


	29. I was born the queen of nowhere

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot puts a plan into action!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a long time coming. I finally became inspired seeing my friend Mavelon redo her fan art she drew from this story. Seeing her improve made me want to come back to this story and see it to the end. Please check out her fan art she did that inspired me to keep going https://mavelon.tumblr.com/image/168132903290
> 
> "Well, this is how it begins  
> I wonder is this your life  
> Were you raised in deep water  
> Are they pushing you down  
> Are you gonna push harder"  
> Sum of our parts- Mary Lambert

Peridot had to have everything perfect if she wanted this to work. She went into her closet and pulled out a black pair of slacks and a white dress shirt. Lapis was still sleeping on the bed, snoring away contently. Peridot had to find a dress or something for Lapis for today, she had to look the way her mother would expect. Done up hair, makeup, a dress and a pair of impossible heels, that was what her mother expected from young pretty women. Luckily Peridot had gotten herself out of that norm and wore other expensive items, nice shirts and vests. She wasn’t girly and it took years for her mother to understand that. But she had gone through that uncomfortable phase of having to wear dresses and heels and let people attempt to tame her locks. 

The important thing now was to find Lapis a dress. Pearl was around the same height but was much skinner she had a dancer’s body. Amethyst was too short and Peridot doubted the woman owned a dress. Garnet was tall like Lapis but her figure was much…more…um…shapely. That left a last resort to go out and buy one. Peridot sat down with the help of one crutch and worked her slacks on over her green boxer briefs and then her cast, next she put her white silk shirt on making sure to tuck it into her pants. Next was the black vest with green silken inner lining. She had already spent hours on flattening her hair as much as she could, it required many bobby pins and hair gel and a small miracle. 

She hefted herself up leaning heavily on the crutch underneath one armpit and padded over in her socked feet to the bed she ran a hand down the side of Lapis’ face. She was so peaceful when she slept no worry in her face, her expression almost happy. “Lapis, wake up.” Peridot cooed softly. 

Lapis groaned and covered her face with her hand. She was going to make this difficult. If she had more time she’d wake Lapis in a much more pleasant way, kissing her, touching her. Something that would make her less grouchy but she didn’t have time; they didn’t have any time to waste. Neither of them knew when Aquamarine would strike next and she needed to be prepared, they both did. 

“Lapis, wake up. You need to come with me for something.” Peridot grabbed a shoulder and shook Lapis gently and when that didn’t work she tried not so gently. “Wake up!” Peridot all but screamed. 

“Noooooo.” Lapis groaned back extending her Os into a drawn out moan of discontent. Lapis rolled over onto her stomach and took the pillow and buried her head underneath it. 

Peridot grabbed one end of the pillow and yanked it away from Lapis. “Lapis Lazuli, get up! We are trying to help your sister!” 

Lapis finally rolled over and opened her eyes first one then the other and glared at Peridot with navy blues. “What?” 

“We have to go and get you a dress and then we are going to see my mother.” Peridot chewed on the inside of her lip. When she said it out loud it seemed ridiculous. To change both of them for the satisfaction of her mother, but it wasn’t really for her, they were doing this for Malachite. 

Lapis chuckled and sat up she rubbed at her eyes and yawned. “You feeling okay?” Lapis asked. Her dark blue hair was sticking up at every possible angle and her eyes had dark circles underneath them from so many nights of lost sleep. Fuck, she’s gorgeous Peridot thought and yet her mother wouldn’t see it that way. She’d see a trashy young woman who had no control who was a disaster. Peridot reached out and touched Lapis’ hand it was cool to the touch. “This is the only way my mother will listen to us. She needs to see we are serious that…you can…” The words were lost. It hurt to think them and it hurt to say them. That you can clean up? That you can play the part I never could? Those words swam in Peridot’s head like vicious sharks but they both had to make sacrifices here. 

Lapis ran her fingers over the top of Peridot’s hand tracing knuckles. “Not a dress…” Lapis trailed on and then her hands went to Peridot’s vest and yanked her closer. Lips pressed against her own, “Lemme borrow this.” Lapis breathed and Peridot groaned in response. Lapis easily dragged Peridot out of her vest. Lapis quickly bounded off the bed and shot one look back at Peridot, “Give me thirty minutes.” 

Peridot went to run a hand through her hair but remembered her painstaking effort of applying gel and bobby pins. She settled for touching her lips were Lapis had been just mere moments ago. It made her grin it made her think talking to her mother wasn’t impossible. Lapis had this way of making the impossible seem possible. She wouldn’t have done the things she had done in any other circumstance. She would’ve run and hid. Lapis made her a fighter. So she’d be strong. 

*************************

It had taken Lapis an hour not thirty minutes to get ready and the results were worth the wait. Lapis had a pair of pinstripe black slacks on, a white blouse on that was unbuttoned the first few to reveal her tan chest and best of all she wore Peridot’s vest better than the blonde could’ve ever pulled off. Lapis had borrowed a pair of black heels from Pearl and with a wink and a smile she was able to get Pearl’s rental car as well. Of course with the promise Peridot wouldn’t allow it to befall the same misfortunate as the van had. Lapis hummed along to a song she had found on the radio she drove and tapped the wheel to the beat. 

The blue haired woman had a Zen like calm and Peridot had to question if it was just the calm before the storm? The two of them driving to her mother’s house on a whim and a hope. What would she be forced to trade for help? How far would she be asked to stretch and bend this time? What would be forced upon her? A hand touched her cheek, “Peri?” 

Peridot looked over at Lapis whose brow wrinkled betraying her emotions, she was scared. “We will be okay…” It was almost phrased as a question as if she was asking Peridot for reassurance. “We will be okay.” Peridot repeated but she made it a statement, they would be okay. Lapis turned down the road Peridot had told her and they arrived at the front gate of the mansion. The guard a dark skinned woman with rainbow braids walked out of the guard house.

“Bismuth, still works here I see…” Peridot remembered the guard well. She had always made it hard to run away or to escape. Bismuth walked over to the car and tapped the window and Lapis rolled it down. Bismuth looked into the car and saw Peridot her face changed, “The little Diamond returns. Should I roll out the red carpet?”

“Still using humor as an attempt to appease?” Peridot glared. 

Bismuth smiled, “I’ll tell Ms. Diamond you are here. Go on ahead.” Bismuth backed away from the car and went for her radio to make the call. Bismuth went into the guard house and the large metal gates swung inwards. Lapis took in a deep breath and drove through. 

“Just follow the bend of the road.” Peridot mumbled. It was hard to drive and see all of this. Nothing had changed not in the year she had been gone. The same routine even in place, the gardeners were out pruning the rose bushes and hedges.

Lapis followed the way the road went and they made it the front driveway. “Park here.” Peridot said and Lapis did so and turned the car off pocketing the keys. “Let me help you,” Lapis got out and went to Peridot’s side of the car and opened the door. She grabbed the crutches and leaned them against the car. Lapis reached and helped Peridot up and out the two of them attempting to balance with three legs instead of four. Peridot fell forward a little and Lapis caught her in her arms. Somehow the situation was so ridiculous they both started laughing. Peridot looked at the house looming in front of her and realized she had never once laughed here, yet she found herself giggling with Lapis as they tried to get her on her foot and with the crutches. 

This would be different it had to be. Lapis helped her up the steps to the house and the door opened before either of them could knock. Her mother’s assistant stood there with a smug grin on her pointed face. “Right this way Peridot and…friend…” Her mother’s assistant turned on her heels with a dancer’s grace. They followed and Peridot hated the tug in her armpits from the crutches and the memories of avoiding these hallways. 

“Ms. Diamond is expecting you in the formal sitting room. She is disappointed with your lack of grace in providing ample warning of your arrival.” Her mother’s assistant spoke in that sneer she had. Peridot had always suspected there was something more going on between little miss pointed nose and her mother. They were too close. Her mother’s assistant opened the door to the formal sitting room. 

Peridot prepared herself but it didn’t help. Seeing her mother sitting there on a black leather couch with a cup of tea in her hand, legs crossed, disappointment written on her face. She was a child again being yelled at for failing at piano, she hated the piano. Lapis touched her arm and she felt that strength return to her, she wasn’t alone and she wasn’t a child. Lapis sat down first on the couch across from Peridot’s mother and then helped Peridot sit down. 

“No notice, have you learned nothing about manners?” Her mother started with. “Are you staying for a little this time or just coming to ask for some favor?” 

“I…” Peridot’s voice was gone so quick and she felt parched. 

“I’ve come here to ask something of you Ms. Diamond.” Lapis spoke up and her hand reached for Peridot’s and held on tight. “I need your help I am in over my head with my own mother and what she is doing to my sister. I need to use your legal team and I need your resources.” Lapis spoke clearly and she didn’t waver. “I am willing to offer up anything you ask in return but I implore you to help my sister and I.” 

Peridot’s mother took a sip of tea and then set the cup down. “What could you offer me? You have no discernible talents, what good is helping you going to do for me?”   
“Mother, please!” Peridot found her voice but it was choked back down with a dark golden eyed look. 

“The adults are talking, quite.” Her mother spoke and Peridot looked down at her shoes. 

“Well? Lapis Lazuli, I know who you are and I know you have nothing.” Peridot’s mother was on the attack now. “An orphan adopted by a twisted woman, how sad and pathetic for you but it does nothing for me.” 

“On the contrary ma’am it is an asset. How many billionaires have assisted in helping an orphan escape her abusive adoptive mother? How many have given their legal teams up for it? Think of the publicity Ms. Diamond, you would look like a saint.” Lapis’ words were calculated and thought out. It was the way her mother spoke it was the same words but used against her this time. 

Peridot’s mother cracked the smallest of smiles. “We can discuss further after dinner. Stay, I insist. Peridot take you and your friend here to your room. I need to make some calls.” She stood up and picked her tea up and walked out of the room into what Peridot knew would be her office. 

“Fuck…ugh…” Lapis groaned she let out a huge sigh and held Peridot’s hand tighter. “I hated that…it wasn’t me…I…” 

“Lapis…” Peridot spoke and she turned to face the woman she loved. “You did perfect.” She kissed the hand holding hers bringing it to her lips. “Just a little more and we will be done.” 

“We will be okay…” Lapis murmured and it was a question again. 

“We will be okay.” Peridot replied once again a statement.


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lapis and Peridot make an agreement

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It only took me a thousand years! I am going to try to work more on this story. 
> 
> It was beyond relaxing to write and listen to my girlfriend play piano. This is the fucking life. :)

Peridot looked around her room that she hadn’t seen in over a year. It was regularly dusted so nothing has settled and smell of fresh sheets clung in the air. Why bother keeping the room clean? She would never live here again, she’d rather take to the streets if she had to. Lapis followed behind somber and still reeling from her façade. Peridot didn’t realize how much it had taken out of her blue haired girlfriend until she saw the mask slide away and those dark blue eyes just looked tired. Lapis looked beaten down as if she had walked out of a boxing match that she didn’t even win. 

“So this is your old room? Huh, somethings never change.” Lapis gestured to the large Camp Pining Hearts flag over Peridot’s bed, “Dork.” 

Peridot let out a huff, “You like the show too!” 

Lapis’ lips curved into a faint smile and she walked over to Peridot’s old desk where an older build of a computer sat. Figurines from games she used to play sat on the desk cluttering the space. Lapis picked up a figurine from World of Warcraft and held it, a single tear slipped down her cheek. “I never wanted to lie like that again. To wear a fake smile, Aquamarine made me…” The tear turned into sobs and the figurine dropped from her hand. “She used to make me lie and grin and fucking be a puppet, I can’t…I can’t.” Lapis ran her fingers through her hair disheveling the perfectly placed blue locks and panic overrode her face. “What will she want from me? What if she’s no better than Aquamarine?” The words tumbled out of Lapis’ mouth and Peridot struggled with her crutches to hobble over to her girlfriend. “Lapis, it is okay.” Peridot reached out and caressed either side of Lapis’ face, hot and tearstained but her skin was soft. “Lapis, look at me.” 

Lapis didn’t look up immediately she kept her head down and her hands still gripping locks of hair her chest heaving. “Look at me.” Peridot said again this time gentler softer, “Please.” 

Lapis’ dark eyelashes fluttered and tears spilled but she looked up. Dark blue eyes caught Peridot, they were begging for help. Her eyes conveyed so much and Peridot could feel that crushing weight. She felt the pain and the deep cut that had never actually healed that was torn open again. Lying, it hurt Lapis, it hurt her to lie. “I am here for you.” Peridot said her voice even. This was a mistake coming here was a mistake, she knew it all along. “We can go. We don’t have to do this. You don’t have to do this.” 

They would find another way, a better way. Maybe she could threaten Aquamarine. She had connections of her own. Peridot thought of her mysterious grandmother the head of the Diamond family. She would be able to do something. Her grandmother was known for her less than legal means of getting things done. She was from Mother Russia and still played by its rules. Her grandmother would take care of it all and Aquamarine would be gone for good, six feet under kind of gone. Peridot knew that was only trading one evil for another, Blanche Diamond was not the one to rely on. Peridot didn’t even think of her aunts the two would be of no help. So this was the option, this was the right way…no, it was the only way. 

Peridot knew what she was to do. She had to take the hit here. Lapis couldn’t she wouldn’t be able to survive it. Peridot had to do this. “Don’t worry,” Peridot leaned forward and wrapped her arms around Lapis’ waist. “I will handle this, I promise.” 

Lapis kissed her cheek and smiled but it was grim. “We will handle this. Peridot, we are a team. Sometimes one of us needs more the other one.”

Peridot looked into those dark navy blue eyes. Lapis was right of course. In a relationship it was give and take and now they both needed to give. Lapis needed to lean on her during this and she needed to be strong. Peridot wanted to fold, to say it was too hard and to pass the trouble onto someone else. But looking into those dark eyes she saw so much pain so much let down. How many before her had promised Lapis the world and then run away when it was too hard? How many had held out a hand only to snatch it back once it was touched? Peridot refused to be another let down, another liar in Lapis’ life. They were both in this, she had as much skin in the game as Lapis at this point. 

“Whatever she wants, it is on both of our terms.” Peridot finally spoke. “If we both don’t agree, we walk away. We find another way.” Peridot held Lapis tighter. “We do this together.” 

“Together,” Lapis agreed.


End file.
